Crazy
by PancaekPirate
Summary: Percy starts freaking out when the school recommends that he attend counseling. His only comfort is Nico, his best friend, but even from him he's hiding something dark. It's tearing him up inside and wreaking havoc with his thoughts and feelings, It's holding him back from exploring the strange emotions surrounding he and Nico. PercyxNico
1. The Appointment

I was inspired for this by my other story, and now I'm obsessed with this one too! :3

Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson or it's follow-up series, they belong to Rick Riordan and I make no profit off this fan-work.

…Chapter One - The Appointment…

"I don't need it!" Percy shouted across the room.

"Then go and prove that you don't" Paul said, following him as the 17 year old paced his classroom.

"Yeah, like that'll work." Percy looked at his step-father to see a cautious expression on his face. "What's that look for? I'm not crazy."

"No one's saying you're crazy Percy, it's just counselling."

"With a psychiatrist." Percy shot back.

"The school just thinks that you need someone to talk to, work through any issues-"

"I don't have issues!" Paul frowned, Percy took a few deep breaths and lowered his voice. "I don't have issues."

"Then tell the psychiatrist that." Percy chewed his lip. He didn't want to tell the psychiatrist _anything_.

This entire conversation had stemmed from a letter home, requesting that Percy see the school counseller due to 'recurring anger management issues'. Long story short; Percy punched some guy in the face for being a jerk and his entire school record was suddenly put under the microscope. This new school counseller. Mr Richards. Had been over every student file and apparently Percy was already on a list of students 'to keep an eye on'. Now he had to go for a counselling session with the guy. Today. He chose to just ignore it and say he'd forgotten but Paul had caught up with him 10 minutes ago and reminded him. He could no longer feign ignorance, so here he was, blatantly refusing to go.

"I don't need to tell him anything, because I don't need to go. _Someone to talk to? _What a total load of horsesh-"

"Percy!" Paul cut him off. The demigod bit his tongue against any more remarks. "you never know, with all the stuff that's gone on in your life, it might help." Percy shot him a look that was positively murderous before walking out and slamming the door behind him. The man sighed, dropping down into an empty chair.

…

Meanwhile, Percy stormed down the corridor. He **did not **need counselling. He spared an angry glance at a clock to see that he had to go and see him in only 20 minutes. He huffed and made his way to the guy's office, slumping down onto a chair in the waiting room. It was called a waiting room, but it wasn't much of one, just a dead end of corridor that had been cut off from the rest of the corridor by a door.

He fidgeted in the chair, tapping his fingers on the tatty wood of the arm rest. He was the only one there -as if he needed another reason to feel a bit like a reject- the constant ticking of the large clock on the wall was working up to annoyance, he looked at it and sighed angrily, still ten minutes to go. He certainly wasn't going in early.

It felt a bit like a dentist's office, but without the aggravating tapping of the receptionist on her keyboard or any noisy children. Just the annoying tick-tick of the clock. For a moment he considered hurling it out the window like a frisbe.

He sunk back into his own thoughts. Why was he here? He **did** **not** have _anger_ _management_ _issues, _hemanagedhis anger just fine, he managed it right into that kid's face. Lots of kids got into a fights much worse than just one punch. _Was_ _a_ _good_ _one_ _though_. Percy smirked a little. The lad was purposely trying to annoy him, he deserved it, he shouldn't have picked a fight he couldn't finish.

So he'd been a little stressed lately. He and Annabeth had broken up a few months ago. Right at the start of summer actually, she did a damn fine job of avoiding him all through camp. He only been back at school for a month and half. And he felt like his dyslexia was getting worse, he was on report for most of his classes. Paul was trying, he really was, he even printed off some of the study material in Greek, it wasn't quite ancient Greek, but it was a little better, even enrolled him in a class to learn modern Greek, needless to say he was excelling in it. It opened up a few academic choices for him.

Out of it all, the headaches were the worst thing to put up with, intense throbbing in his skull that no amount of painkillers would alleviate. He didn't leave the house without his sunglasses, the sunlight hurt his eyes, made the headaches worse. He kept the shades in his bedroom drawn constantly. Just laid on his bed most days, sleeping the time away.

But regardless, he was coping. He had ways of coping. Why did some trumped up psychiatrist think he could stick his nose in his life. It was quite frankly, none of his business.

A glance at the clock revealed that it was a minute past the hour. He mentally cussed and pushed himself out of the chair, sighing before he knocked the door.

…End of Chapter One…

Please review, I'd love to know what you think :3


	2. Anger

Yay! You guys like this, woop! :3

I tried for ages to get the guy's actions and words believable and everything :/ please tell me if I succeeded!

**DarkLove12489: **woo! Thanks. :)

**playing-dodgeball-with-bricks: **I haven't decided on that yet x3 anything's possible I guess. :3

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I hope you love this chapter!

…Chapter Two - Anger…

"Come in." he heard a man's voice call. Percy twisted the handle and pushed the door open. His eyes scanned the room out of habit. There were shelves along the back wall, filled with books and files, in the middle of them were two filing cabinets, Percy imagined that they would contain all the student's files. There was a wooden desk in front of the cabinets with a laptop on it's surface, around it were a scatter of sticky notes and notebooks along with an open file, Percy's file. To his left was a scatter of beanbags near to a window that started at floor height, to his right was a sofa and armchair. The whole room was a wash of browns and creams; calm colours.

The man himself was sat at his desk, he must have been around 24 or 25, he looked a little like a preppy librarian. He wore light cream trousers and a white shirt, the top button of which was undone. No tie. Presumably to create a 'non-formal atmosphere', to make the students more comfortable and relaxed, Percy sort of felt like that if he could figure that out then he didn't need to be here. He had smart glasses and light brown hair that looked like styled-bedhead.

He stood up as Percy stepped in and closed the door gently behind him. "ah Percy, good to see you." he smiled and casually closed Percy's file. "take a seat, wherever you'll feel most comfortable." _away from you. _Percy thought to himself. He took a seat at the end of the sofa, putting his messenger bag down by his feet. The man picked up a notebook from his desk as he walked over and slipped a pen from his trouser pocket before he sat down in the armchair. He crossed his legs and held the items on his thigh as he smiled at Percy. "You can call me Shaun, as you know, I'm the school's new counsellor." Percy watched him suspiciously. "Do you know why I've asked to meet with you Percy?"

"Because I punched Shane Tennerman in the face?" Percy said in a slightly condescending and sarcastic tone.

"Yes." He was still smiling, Percy wished he'd stop smiling. "Now as you know, we as a school, have a zero tolerance policy on violence." Percy looked completely unamused. "Can you tell me why you felt the need to lash out at Shane?" his tone of voice made it sound like he was on Percy's side, but it made the demigod ever more suspicious of him.

"I didn't, _'lash_ _out'."_

"You punched him."

"He deserved it."

"What makes you think that?" _what's_ _with_ _all_ _the_ _questions?_

"He was winding me up."

"Percy, we must all learn to control out anger and impulses. Despite how others choose to behave towards us." Percy glared at the other side of the room. This wasn't even worth the effort. "I understand that Mr. Blofis is your step-father?" Percy turned his glare back to him, he noticed that he was now holding his pen in his hand and had his notebook open, a few scribbles already down.

"What's that got to with anything?" Percy felt himself on the defensive.

"I just want to get to know you Percy." the demigod wished he'd stop being so nice and that this could just be an average telling off.

"Why?"

"So I can understand you better."

"And why would you want to do that?"

"So I can help to resolve the situation." _Stop smiling. _"So do you like Mr. Blofis?"

"he's an okay guy I guess."

"I assume you might have been a little sensitive about another man being with your mother, after what I understand to be quite an abusive relationship with your previous step-father." Percy narrowed his eyes.

"I suppose. Who told you that?"

"I have your school and social history on file." Percy sighed, _of course he does. _There was a minute of silence between them._ "_I've been told that over the past few years you've been in contact with you father." Percy tensed. "Tell me about him."

"What did you want to know?"

"Well, for starters what does he do?" _He's_ _a_ _god_.

"He works out at sea a lot." the psychiatrist nodded despite the vague answer.

"and you're close to your father?"

"Yes." Percy answered, trying to show he was annoyed.

"Do you see him often?"

"No. He's away at sea. _A_ _lot_." he repeated.

"I see." the man smiled and took more notes.

"I'm sorry, what is the point of this?" Percy asked, vexed.

"I'm just asking you a few questions, I want to understand where you anger stems from, so I can help you." Percy twitched, this guy was annoying him.

"I don't have any anger and I most certainly don't need any help."

"You're angry with me now Percy, why?"

"Because you're asking annoying questions about things that _really_ aren't any of your business."

"You don't _have_ to answer my questions, I will be respective of your privacy during these sessions." Percy chuckled lowly in disbelief.

"Good." Percy stood up. "Because I'm not answering your questions. And there won't be any more of these." He pulled his bag on his shoulder and stepped towards the door.

"Please don't go Percy." he didn't know why he stopped. Because he said please? He turned slightly and glared questioningly at the man. "These sessions have been allotted to help you. So you can talk about your thoughts and feelings in confidence, I'm not here to judge or to accuse, just to talk you through anything that you're frustrated with. Please sit back down." Percy looked between him and his seat before sighing and sitting back down. "I'm glad you've decided to stay." he smiled.

"Do you have to smile quite so much?"

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" Percy raised an eyebrow, was he really asking if his smiles made him uncomfortable? He shook his head. He supposed the guy could smile if he was so inclined to.

"Some students find it hard to talk, I mean when you're asked to just talk about yourself you draw a blank don't you?" he supposed so. "Or maybe you just don't know where to start; you can have a lot happening in your head. It's understandable, it's a stressful time for you, and especially with all this outside noise you have. But my point is, asking questions like I did earlier gives us a base to start from." _Okay... _"Can you talk to me about your first step-father?" Percy opened his mouth to talk, but he stopped himself.

"Why?"

"He was a cruel man. He was abusive to your mother. And hurtful towards you too, you were very young when he became a part of your life."

"And that's pretty much it." Shaun nodded thoughtfully and wrote in his book. "You're asking if he hurt me."

"I didn't ask that."

"But it's what you're poking at." Percy stared him in the eyes and the man sighed.

"Did he?" Percy continued his defensive stare, deep down he was sort of hoping that he'd ask, but now he wasn't sure if he wanted to answer. "You don't have to answer Percy. You can talk about it whenever you feel ready, I won't judge anything you say."

"How has this travelled from hitting someone to this?" it was a good subject changer.

"Well that's why I wanted to talk to you but it's not what these sessions are about"

"Then what are they about?"

"Anything you want. Though, I do have one rule." Percy looked at him blankly. "You must be completely truthful to me. Can you do that?" Percy was a little confused. This guy was weird.

"Sure." he answered.

"good." he smiled again. "I can see that you're intelligent Percy. How would you like to proceed?" Percy felt a little bewildered. "Is there anything in particular you want to talk about?" Percy thought for a moment and shook his head. "Then would you like me to carry on with questions? of course you can stop me at any point if there's a subject that you want to talk about in more depth." Percy nodded.

"Yeah okay." he fidgeted idly, hoping the questions wouldn't involve his dad.

"Why do _you _think you're angry Percy?"

"I'm not angry."

"Remember my one rule Percy." the demigod cast him and annoyed stare and folded his arms.

"I'm just stressed." the man nodded, smiling. Percy looked away shortly before the bell went.

"You have lesson now don't you?" Percy nodded. "Okay, what do you say to same time tomorrow? Another half hour?" Percy stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Yeah, sure." the man stood up to see Percy out. The demigod walked out into the corridor, looking forward to seeing his friend but convincing himself that absolutely no one needed to know about the counselling.

…End of Chapter Two…

In chapter one I stated that Percy was 17, Nico is 3 or so years younger than him and that would make him like 14. So for the sake of the fic I'm making him just under a year younger. I'm also changing his birthday (though it's never actually been stated. But I hear it was sometime in the early-middle half of the year.) to just before Percy's, and Percy's may be a little later than August 18th.

**Please review, I write for you guys to read so please let me know what you think. x3**

Also, if you like this fic so far, and haven't already, please check out my other PJ stories, I have an ApolloxHermes and an ApolloxPercy :3

Until next time!

-Pp


	3. Nico

Ahh, chapter 3, I'm going to keep this short and sweet, I'm so tired. The new puppy has kept me up for two nights in a row. x\

**DarkLove12489: **yay thank you :3

**Mango21: **haha, I think he'd have him committed xD

**Mayday: **woo! Thanks :)

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**districttribute: **you sound as suspicious as Percy xD

**anon: **Nico arrives! Woop! :3 thanks.

I hope you like it.

**Warnings**: there are a few alcohol references and a little drug use, quite mild though.

Enjoy!

…Chapter 3 - Nico…

Five minutes later he was stood outside his biology classroom, he liked biology, not because he was at all interested in the subject, but his class partner was Nico. As in, son of Hades, Nico. He'd enrolled in Percy's school a year ago and had been moved up into Percy's year, Nico was smart, he'd caught up on everything insanely fast.

Speak of the devil, the younger boy jumped onto Percy's back. "There you are, where were you all last free?"

"Oh, just around." he smiled weakly. Nico gave him an odd look but accepted it.

"c'mon, the dragon's gonna give us detention if we're late." Nico pulled him into the classroom and they took their seats at the back of the class. The lights were turned off and the projector was turned on. Percy leaned on the desk and stared out the window, thinking of his counselling session with Mr. Richards. He guessed it wasn't too bad, the guy was weird though, that was for sure. But Percy was annoying himself, he didn't want to want them. It was all just stupid.

"Percy." Nico whispered urgently. Percy snapped to attention to see the class looking at him expectantly.

"What?" he asked dumbly.

"Care to answer the question Mr Jackson?" Nico uttered an answer to him that Percy blurted out nervously. Soon the whole class was back to listening to the teacher drone on about parts the body.

"What's up?" Nico whispered.

"Nothing, why?" Nico twitched an eyebrow.

"Wanna come over after school today?" Percy nodded. It was cool at Nico's, he had a place of his own, not as glamourous as it sounded, it was just shared student accommodation. A house split into four areas, as well as a kitchen and a large living room. Downstairs there were two private bedrooms with a shared bathroom and upstairs there were two slightly bigger bedrooms each with their own smaller bathrooms, one of which was Nico's. It was pretty good, Percy was surprised to hear that Hades paid for it. He sure cared about Nico a lot.

His roomies were okay, you needed a reference from a teacher to have your application accepted, so they were well-behaved people. That wasn't to say they didn't have their naughty secrets. They were older than Nico, even older than Percy by a couple years. Two guys downstairs and a girl upstairs next door to Nico, she was quiet and kept to herself, the vision of a good student, she socialised occasionally but mostly she just turned her nose up at them. They all just stayed out of her way. The two guys were practically brothers, they were your typical loud college type guys and they'd known each other for years before moving in together.

They also sold Nico weed on occasion. As I said, naughty secrets. Percy would go over sometimes and he and Nico would chill in his room smoking. Of course Sally and Paul had no idea about it, life just wouldn't be worth bearing if they found out.

Percy text Paul telling him that he was going out after school. Then didn't text him back when he asked why. He wasn't in the mood for Paul, he'd ask about the therapy session and Percy just didn't want to talk about it, he didn't even know what he himself thought about it yet.

They legged it off the school grounds, dodging through crowds of other kids and went to Nico's place.

They stepped into the hallway, the kitchen was at the front of the house and the downstairs bedrooms at the back, the living room was between. A usual the two guys were sat in the living room. It was a large open archway between there and the hall.

"Hey Nico!" the son of Hades lifted his head in acknowledgement. "Got your stuff." one of them threw a small bag that Nico caught in his left hand.

"Thanks." Nico nodded towards the stairs and then followed Percy up. He unlocked the door and relocked it behind them, he liked his privacy.

Percy kicked his shoes off and dropped down onto Nico's futon, laying across it. Nico's place was his home away from home, he stayed over a lot, which is what brings him to the futon, it was a three seater sofa when away but a double bed when out for Percy to sleep on. It was across the room from Nico's own bed.

His decorating was very Nico, dark, but it had a strong atmosphere of elegance.

He snuggled into the black comforter and heard Nico laugh. "bad day?" he asked.

"You have no idea." Percy answered as he sat up. Nico further smirked at the older boy's ruffled hair.

"Wanna talk about it?" Percy smiled but shook his head. Nico nodded before heading to his bed and pulling out a small tobacco tin. He sat at his table as he rolled a joint for himself and Percy.

The older demigod leaned back on the futon as he watched his friend. They'd gotten close over the past year, close enough to say that Nico was his best friend. He'd been there for him after the breakup, he'd shadowed Percy out on some camp nights and they'd gone on the wildest nights out together. When camp was over he had helped him through being out of it for 3 days and got him sober enough to face his mom and Paul at the end of it.

When Nico finished he chucked a lighter to Percy and passed both the joints to him as he laid on the futon with his legs across his friend's lap.

Percy lit them both and passed one to Nico. He relaxed, not long later slumping down and holding Nico's legs on his lap, he stroked his thumb over Nico's shin through his skinny jeans. He never much realised it, but he always got affectionate when he was high or drunk. Though he never will forget the time he woke up in Nico's bed completely naked, forcing the boy to take the futon himself. He didn't remember how he ended up like that, Nico had said that Percy had gotten so drunk that he couldn't walk, started taking his clothes off complaining that it was too hot and insistently trying to cuddle him. It had been easier to just help him pull the rest of his clothes off and throw him into his own bed, leaving him to sleep it off.

Nico looked down his body to where Percy sat, the older boy had laid his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying his high. He was a darn sight better than a few weeks ago, things hadn't been going well between Percy and Annabeth for a while before they broke up. To this day Percy refuses to say why the relationship ended, but it was obvious to everyone that neither of them was happy. It had been painful to see Percy trashing himself with alcohol and drugs, he couldn't count the amount of times he'd had to get him sober or take care of him after he'd thrown up in a ditch somewhere. It had crossed his mind more than once that maybe Percy was depressed, but he would just clam up whenever Nico tried to help, sometimes it would just make it worse. It was best to just do this, it was better to have him somewhere safe while he was drinking or taking anything than for him to go out and get arrested, among other obvious dangers.

They kept their stash of alcohol in Nico's room. They couldn't exactly go out drinking anywhere, not legally anyway. Nico definitely couldn't, Percy was nearly 18 but looked older than he actually was, Nico looked young despite being very nearly 17 himself. Though if you wanted to be specific, Nico was _a lot _older than that. His birthday was in a few days, Percy had teased him and said he'd gotten him a present -despite Nico's protests- but refused to tell him what it was.

Time with Percy was the only enjoyable time he had other than learning -he liked learning. _People _just weren't the same, he wasn't comfortable around the living but the dead weren't exactly good company for him to constantly keep. Though don't get him wrong, some of them were really great, but they _were _dead. The nicest of them would actually, for Nico's own good, point out that he shouldn't spend so much time with dead people. Percy was different, he was alive, but he had, Nico wasn't sure how to put it, an aura that he was totally comfortable around, like they fit around each other perfectly.

…

Percy left a few hours later, refusing to let Nico walk him home and taking the long route to air the smell out of his clothes. The house was quiet when he walked in, He saw Paul look around a doorway to see who came in. The man smiled when he saw Percy and walked over. "Hey Perce. You have a good time with Nico?" Percy looked at him suspiciously, he knew exactly what Paul wanted to ask about.

"Yeah great." the demigod answered as he hung his jacket on the hooks by the door, he had his sunglasses on, though at the moment they were mainly to hide the state his eyes were in after smoking. But Paul and his mom never questioned it, even wearing them indoors. He had them on so often and they knew about the headaches.

"How did it go today?"

"Fine I suppose. He wants to see me again tomorrow."

"and are you okay with that?" Percy nodded unenthsuastically. "well, dinner's ready, you coming?" Percy nodded again in a slightly more encouraging way, dropping his bag by the stairs before heading to the kitchen with Paul.

He was thankful to get to bed that night, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

…

Meanwhile at Nico's place, the son of Hade's settled for some pizza that the guys downstairs offered him. He stayed up reading most of the night before finally giving into sleep in the early hours.

…End of Chapter 3…


	4. Session One

Hello. :3 I can't think of anything to say, I've just update my ApolloxPercy fic and now I've just drawn a blank xD

**DarkLove12489: **yay, please keep letting me know what you think!

**Thomygon Son of Thanatos: **thanks, and I haven't decided who to give or who to take as it were... I was thinking maybe a bit of both, so it's mainly a decision of who first... I was thinking maybe Nico takes but is on top and therefore in control? Meh, I'm still dabbling. But what do you think? :/

**DemonikRainbo: **yay thank you! And who doesn't? XD

**districttribute: **woo! Thanks! :D

These are just little Chapters of the Psychiatrists notes that he takes with Percy. They're really only short so I'm uploading them with another chapter but thought it deserved a chapter of its own.

…Chapter 4 - Session One…

Student: Perseus (Percy) Jackson

Age: 17

Notes: ADHD, dyslexic, on academic report, history of erratic violent behaviour.

Session One:

Seems reluctant to talk about his anger and reasoning.

Highly defensive and reluctant to trust. Suspicious of questions.

Nervous behaviour, excessive fidgeting, though could be put down to ADHD.

Becomes anxious when asked about his father, states that they are close but rarely sees him -works out at sea. -possible contributing factor.

Becomes agitated when feeling cornered and when privacy is threatened. Close guards his emotions. -perhaps anger fits are a method of avoiding open displays of more sensitive emotion. Seemed more confident when assured of his privacy.

Reluctant to speak of his first step father, but asks question that makes me suspect possible abuse. No report of any abuse recorded.

When asked how he wished to proceed seemed unsure, currently more confident when asked direct questions most likely because of reluctance to talk freely.

Agreed to a second session tomorrow.

…End of Chapter 4…

Yes, the end, but I now give you Chapter Five! :O


	5. Confusion

…Chapter 5 - Confusion…

"I'm glad you came Percy." The demigod sat down on the sofa after the psychiatrist gestured to it.

"I said I would."

"And you're a man of your word. That speaks a lot about your character." Percy's lip twitched in a slight smile to acknowledge the statement. "Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors?" Percy guessed it wouldn't hurt to tell him.

"The light hurts my eyes, makes my headaches worse."

"Has it always been a problem for you?" Percy studied him, he wasn't sure what to make of this guy.

"Not always. But occasionally." he nodded, jotting a note down. The demigod shifted uneasily, he still didn't like this.

"Tell me Percy, how do you feel about being here, having these sessions. And remember my rule." Percy took a minute to answer.

"It's invasive. And I don't trust you." It was blunt but it _was _truthful.

"I hope that I can earn your trust" Percy narrowed his eyes.

"Maybe."

"Well that's a start." there was that ridiculously happy smile, seriously? Was there that much to smile about? "Yesterday you mentioned that you're feeling stressed."

"isn't everyone?" the man laughed.

"Well I guess that's true. Your record shows that you moved schools a lot, we won't go into the reasons, I'm sure that it's all buried history for you. You've been here over two years now and you're doing quite well in P.E. and an extra-curricular subject, Greek I believe it was, that's impressive, hard language to learn." Percy chuckled.

"No, it's..." he smiled. "...It's genetic, I guess you could say."

"How so?"

"My Dad is Greek, originally anyway."

"Your merits are your own. Is that why you chose to learn Greek?"

"No, I was just good at it. Ancient Greek too"

"Oh, do you have an interest in ancient Greek culture?"

"Just the myth part of it mainly. And I wouldn't call it interest, just... Passing curiosity."

"I see." Percy ignored his note taking. "Have you made many friends here?"

"I know people, but I wouldn't exactly call them friends."

"Not at all?" Percy wasn't sure why he blushed a little when he thought of Nico, he never talked about him, he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to say anything because of questions this guy might ask. _What could he possibly ask?_

"Well maybe one, but I met him a while before coming here."

"Do you talk him about how you're feeling." he wouldn't want to hear about how he was feeling, Nico worried about him enough as it was.

"No... you ask that like _you _know how I'm feeling."

"I know you feel stressed and you're defensive." Percy glared at the floor through his sunglasses, he had to give him that one. "Do you think your friend would be put off if you were to show your emotions to him?" The demigod leaned back on the sofa and folded his arms, he wanted to leave.

"Guys don't _show emotions _to each other, that's gay."

"I assure you Percy, it's fine for men to show emotion and not be gay, but either way, it's perfectly alright to be gay too." Percy's glare snapped up to him.

"I'm not gay."

"I didn't say you were, I said it's alright to be."

"Well I'm not, so there's no need to even say that."

"You don't have to feel the need to prove anything to me Percy." the demigod sighed and tried to relax his body a bit more. "Aren't you too hot wearing a hoodie in this weather? Especially inside" Percy looked at him suspiciously. Talking about the weather now?

"No." he'd made an important habit of wearing the things he did. Just then the bell went and Percy couldn't be more grateful.

"Right, would it be okay if we met after school tomorrow?" Percy nodded, he couldn't exactly say no. He thinks Paul knew that there would be more than one of these, he wasn't at all surprised when he had told him.

He had math after the counselling session, Nico wasn't in this class. He went home straight after, not saying bye to Nico and not waiting for Paul.

His headache forced him to lie down as soon as he got in, he knew why it was, he was angry, and that guy had just stressed him out more. He fell asleep early, later on he vaguely woke to hear his mom come in, but she let him be.

…

Nico stood in the school yard until all kids had dispersed and gone home, but there was still no sign of Percy. He lost all hope when he saw Paul getting in his car to leave, he was alone. Nico left.

…End of Chapter 5…


	6. Session Two

…Chapter 6 - Session 2…

Student: Perseus (Percy) Jackson

Age: 17

Notes: ADHD, Dyslexic, on academic report, history of erratic violent behaviour.

Session Two:

Wears sunglasses indoors, claiming light causes pain and headaches -Photosensitivity, may contribute to agitation.

When asked about feelings toward counselling sessions, states 'invasive' also confirmed previous note of mistrust.

Side note- Percy shows interest in ancient Greece, shows talent in language and interest in mythology. Also states that father is Greek 'originally'.

Seems anti-social but has a close friend, though even there still reluctant to confide in on the subject of his emotions.

When asked about confiding feelings to aforementioned _male_ friend Percy implies that he would consider it 'gay' when I clarified a separation between open emotions and homosexuality it raised Percy's defences, stated clearly that he wasn't gay and insisted upon that to the point of purposely burying the topic altogether. Too early to link this behaviour to any past event or influence in Percy's life.

…End of Chapter 6…

I thought I'd get these second set of notes in as well, one for each session, I don't know why, to let you know how the guy is forming any conclusions about Percy I guess.

*pokes you with stick* please review.


	7. Fireworks

So sorry for the very slow update! D: but It is a triple update for you :3

**Mango21**: haha, maybe xD and thanks :)

**DarkLove12489**: yay thanks! :D

**XTheSonofHadesX**: Awwh don't be sad :( lm,

**emthereble**: woo! Thank you! :3

**trenzie**: thanks, and I'll try :)

**IamRarity**: thanks, and what do you mean by darker side? X3

**D**: yay thanks :3

**Yay**: hehe, sorry. :) and thanks, I was worried the reports would be boring :) and sorry, I was trying to show that nothing happened other than him waiting there and other than that the chapter was mainly from Percy's pov. I'll make it up to you :3

**Thomygon** **Son** **of** **Thanatos**: *runs from stick* I'm definitely considering Nico as the topper. :3 but we'll have to see how it turns out ;3 and If you 'sounded gay' I didn't notice xD and I'm bi too so don't worry about it xD -hug-

**22** **random** **ninja** **22**: yay thanks :3

: woo! Thank you so much :D I have my own writing style, high five for being unique *high five* :3

**districttribute**: I think counsellors are suspicious . and thanks! :3

Enjoy!

…Chapter 7 - Fireworks…

Percy was walking across the empty yard near the end of the school day, classes weren't quite over, he preferred to avoid getting caught in crowds of other kids. He hadn't seen Nico that day, but the younger boy caught up with him as he was heading over to Mr. Richards' office. "Percy where were you yesterday? I waited for ages." Percy could only look guiltily at the sad expression that plagued Nico's face.

"I, er, was having a bad day, I just really needed to get home."

"Headaches?" Nico asked.

"Among other things." he looked down at the grass at their feet.

"Oh, you ready to go then?" Nico stepped towards the school gates, toward home and towards freedom.

"I can't." Nico looked at him in confusion. "I've got... an extra class." Nico knew full well that there were no after school classes that day.

"If you don't want to hang with me Percy then you should just say, I mean, It feels like you've just been avoiding me all week." Nico was upset, Percy looked at him, why was he so upset?

"No, it's not that, it's..." He really didn't want to tell him.

"It's what?" Nico snapped.

Percy sighed. "I have to go to counselling sessions." he bit his lip and looked away. Nico stared at him with realisation.

"Is it about the-"

"No. No one knows about that." he looked back at his friend. "They think I have anger problems. It's stupid really, I'll be out of them in a few days, I'll make sure of it."

"Percy..." Nico looked cautious. "I think you should go to them."

"You what?" Percy furrowed his brow as if he could quite comprehend what Nico had just said.

"I think they could help you. I know you don't like talking about things with me, maybe talking to a professional would be better" How could he say that? Percy felt betrayed, and he _did _like talking about things with Nico, things just never came up right and there was never an opportunity to bring things up himself. _Excuses. _"I only want you to be okay Percy, and you're not okay, you drink to forget, you smoke to make yourself relax, and as for doing what you're doing-"

"I've just been upset that's all."

"Don't even pretend that it's all to do with Annabeth." Nico looked genuinely pissed off as he said it. "You should go, you're going to be late."

"I don't want to, I want to-"

"Don't even bother saying you want to talk to me." Percy took a minute to stare into those stormy eyes before he backed down and nodded solemnly. "good. Then I'll see you tomorrow." Percy watched Nico leave, he'd never gotten mad at him before. Why was he suddenly so pissed about the Annabeth thing?

He went to Mr. Richards office. Nico was right, he was five minutes late. He sighed and knocked the door.

…End of Chapter 7…


	8. Downpour

Number two of triple upload :3

…Chapter 8 - Downpour…

"I was beginning to think that you weren't coming." the counsellor stated as Percy walked in.

"I got held up." Percy said, trying to take the edge off his anger. They sat down in their places, Percy wasn't in the mood for this.

"You seem upset, has anything happened today?" Percy considered whether to say anything, it _was_ just a stupid argument. He had to give this guy credit, he was patient.

"Just some argument I had with Nico."

"Is Nico your friend that you talked about?" Percy nodded. There was only one Nico in school, he'd been over his file, homeschooled up until last year and very intelligent. Lives in student accommodation as father lives abroad. A good kid as far as he could tell. "What was it about?" Percy averted his eyes, idly noticing light rain outside.

"It was about coming here actually. I didn't tell him and he thought I was avoiding him." Percy wondered why he was being so forthcoming today, maybe because he didn't have the patients to refuse to answer.

"That doesn't seem like much to argue about if you explained."

"It wasn't just that, I told him I didn't need to go, and he said I do."

"Why does he think that?" the psychiatrist's questions seemed innocent enough, but Percy was still suspicious of this guy and he most certainly couldn't trust him, no matter how much he wished he could.

"He thinks I need help sorting out my feelings and other nonsense like that."

"Do _you_ think you need help?" _Yes._ Percy stayed silent, keeping his eyes on the floor, he didn't want him to see his eyes, he might see his secrets. "There's no shame in needing a little help." _yes there is. _He was the child of a major god, it was silly to even think that he needed 'help with his feelings'. "Nico clearly cares about you very much. It was brave of him to tell you what he thought, knowing you wouldn't like it. Perhaps he is someone worth opening up to."

"If you burden your friends soon you won't have any." Percy replied stubbornly.

"You feel the need to protect him."

"More than he'll ever know. He's important to me..." Percy drifted into his own thoughts. "all he's done for the past few months is look after me and I never tell him how grateful I am..."

"Maybe you should." Percy nodded thoughtfully as he tugged at his jacket sleeves. "Why has he needed to have taken care of you these past few months?" Percy looked away, he couldn't possibly tell him. "I'll remind you that whatever you say in here stays between us." Percy looked at him disbelievingly.

"I doubt that."

"I would only be forced to break that confidence if I deemed that you were in any immediate danger." Percy looked at him, _exactly. _"Even then only if it were extreme circumstances and only if it were in your best interest." Percy sighed and leaned back on the sofa.

"He thinks I drink too much." it was at least _part_ of Nico's issues with Percy's behaviour, he wasn't going to mention the drugs.

"You drink a lot?"

"Not all the time if that's what you're asking. Just, when I do, it's usually until I pass out." he felt a little ashamed under an adult's eyes.

"Why do you drink so much?" Percy almost laughed.

"Because it's so much better than not. I don't have to think so much" Percy face darkened, truth be told, he could do with a drink right now.

"What don't you want to think about?" _everything. _He looked into the man's eyes.

"What do you think?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"It's not about what I think." Percy gave him an insistent look. "But I suspect that you've encountered something that your mind can't handle, something you can't accept or come to terms with, and it's causing you to lash out in different ways. But I have very little as of yet to base that on." he answered calmly. Percy studied him, it was an interesting theory. He heard the rain really start to pour against the windows.

He looked down solemnly. He wished he could tell, this was the best opportunity to tell. He hadn't told anyone, not even Nico, not his mother, he was pretty sure his dad didn't know either. But he couldn't, his throat felt dry and his stomach was in knots. "Maybe. Maybe not."

The psychiatrist frowned, they were so close, but it would take time for Percy to open up. "Well... our half hour's over." he said sadly. "we can talk a little more or if you want to go..."

"I should get home."

"Shall we talk again tomorrow?" He checked in the front of his book. "4th period?" Percy nodded.

"Sure."

…

Percy was walking out the school gates when he saw him. Nico was stood under a nearby tree that acted as poor shelter from the rain, he only wore his normal attire; skinny jeans and a t-shirt. "Nico?" Percy ran over in the pouring rain, Nico was soaked through to the skin, his hair stuck to his face in wet strands and he shivered in his soaking clothes. "What are you doing here?"

"I had to wait for you"

"Why didn't you wait inside?" Percy asked as he pulled his hoodie off. Nico shrugged, smiling sheepishly. He looked a little confused as Percy slung his hoodie around him before gently pulling the hood up over his head. There was a moment as they looked into each other's eyes that they were both overtaken by an unusual, but not unwelcome emotion, Nico now considerably warmer in Percy's hoodie and the older demigod now getting wet in the rain, hands still held near Nico's face.

The two boys snapped back to reality and stepped apart. "I shouldn't have shouted at you. I didn't want to just leave afterwards." Percy smiled.

"Come on, I'll take you home." Nico blushed, Percy was always behaved like a gent' to him, who said chivalry was dead?

…

They arrived at the house as the rain let up, they went into Nico's room and the younger demigod hung Percy's hoodie by the heater. It was a bit pointless really, now they were both soaked. "I think there's some of your clothes around here somewhere." Percy smiled and Nico looked in his wardrobe, pulling some clothes off Percy's shelf and handing them to him.

"Thanks" Percy smiled and stepped towards the bathroom but hesitated when Nico laughed. "What?"

"Nothing, I was just about to say that I don't know why you're shy, I've seen it all before." Nico winked and Percy instantly went red, he half choked on a reply before just going into the bathroom. Nico loved taking him by surprise, Percy was so easily flustered.

The older demigod changed his clothes, it was cold in the bathroom and he couldn't help but wonder whether Nico was doing exactly the same, right now, just the other side of the door. He scolded himself and finished changing. When he stepped back into Nico's room he saw the younger boy just pulling down a t-shirt over his slender muscles.

Nico looked over at him as if Percy wasn't blushing up to the tips of his ears and staring at him. He took a few seconds to admire the older boy before he spoke. "How did the counselling go?"

"Fine." he bit his lip. "Nico, do you really think I need help?" a sad expression crossed the son of Hade's face.

"Yes." Percy nodded in reluctant acceptance. If Nico wanted him to, then he'd go.

"You were wrong." Nico tilted his head in question. "I do want to talk to you, It's just, difficult sometimes..." Percy looked into Nico's eyes, willing him to understand.

Nico smiled and walked calmly over to him. "It's okay, I was just angry." Percy loved that carefree smile Nico could pull off, though he knew that Nico's mind was far from carefree, especially when Percy did something stupid. Before either of them realised, Percy pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you Nico, I never tell you how grateful I am to you, but I am. I don't know what I'd do without you." Nico returned the hug, blushing furiously, his heart swelled with Percy's words, but his nagging paranoia kept telling him not to read too much into it. The son of Poseidon smiled as they pulled apart. "I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow." Nico nodded happily and Percy let himself out, oblivious of Nico enjoying his warm and fuzzy daze.

…

Percy walked home feeling a little better, the rain had died down to a trickle and he idly realised he'd left his jacket at Nico's. He ran to his room when he got home, pulling on another jacket and squeezing the fabric around his arms, grateful for it's return, he only ever took it off around Nico, because Nico had _seen_, Nico _knew, _but more importantly, Nico _understood_.

When he went back downstairs he greeted his mother, acting cheerful, they hadn't had a conversation longer than a minute or two since the counselling started. Percy avoided conversation, he didn't want to talk about it, he felt like it was a dirty secret. He was ashamed of it. But of course his mother asked. She was his mother, how could she not? It hadn't been hard to see that Percy needed some help, the mood swings, fighting at school, hiding in his room constantly. Her only solace was that he had a friend in Nico. But she couldn't deny being relieved when she had read the letter from the school.

"It was fine. I'm going again tomorrow." she smiled and nodded.

"That's good." she replied, Percy smiled back, he couldn't help but feel that it was the complete opposite.

…End of Chapter 8…


	9. Session Three

Number three of triple upload :3

…Chapter 9 - Session Three…

Student: Perseus (Percy) Jackson

Age: 17

Notes: ADHD, Dyslexic, on academic report.

Session Three:

Upset upon arrival to session resulting from argument with Nico Di'Angelo, mentioned in previous notes as a 'close friend'

Stated that Nico Di'Angelo would recommend psychiatric help but was non-specific as to his reasoning.

Shows strong attachment to Nico.

Reluctance in talking about why Nico would needed to have 'taken care of him' for the past few months

Issues with alcohol - possible dependence

Questions me on my opinions about him -shows a need for control.

Still hesitant to talk freely, but I feel that I'm making progress. For now he seems more comfortable giving small hints of his issues.

…End of Chapter 9…

I'm thinking that I'm going to add a way of getting around Percy's Achilles heel, or maybe disregarding it altogether... Hmmm

Anyway, I just uploaded the start of a new series, called overcast, where Luke survives and is sort of like a victim of Kronos instead of a traitor, but at camp *spoiler* rape *spoiler* Percy *spoiler*

Until next time,

-Pp


	10. Panic

Yet again, sorry for the slow update, my ApolloxPercy gets all the attention xD I'm so bad.

**BriCastellan**: yaya, thanks, I don't trust counsellors either *shifty eyes*

**Thomygon Son of Thanatos**: Nico is sensitive, but he's still a badass, in his own silent and stoic way :3

**Anonymous**: woo! Thanks! :D

**Malenti**: Ohhh, right :3

**Hale Vs. Zach**: I checked and I think you've changed you're penname now? X3 and I'll continue don't worry, you should read my ApolloxPercy, it's the one that gets updated most xD

**allwrong4life**: haha, indeed :3

**DarkLove12489**: hehe, maybe ;3

**XTheSonofHadesX**: thanks :D and I love your avatar picture thingy, mega cute!

**luckyducky516**: thank you :3

Enjoy!

…**Chapter 10 - Panic…**

Percy was decidedly calmer when they sat down this time. The psychiatrist asked him about his day, he told him it had been fine, just a normal day. And it had been, though the chemistry teacher hadn't been impressed when he and Nico inadvertently made the ceiling tiles charcoal-black from over boiling something in an experiment.

"So is this how this is going to work; I'm going to come in here everyday and you're going to ask me how my day was?" Percy asked a little dejectedly. Mr Richards smiled.

"It's a good start don't you think?" Percy raised an eyebrow. "Is there something in particular that you want to talk about?" the demigod considered whether to say anything, the past couple days he'd been tormented about whether to tell this guy his secret. He'd been able to bury it for _so_ long, now it was screaming at him, but was he ready for the consequences that the truth held? His expression darkened as he thought about it, he felt sick with nerves, it was private, intimately and scarringly private. He couldn't just take it back if he changed his mind afterwards. Did he really need help with it? He could just bury it again, he had been fine for the past few years, but this really would be the right place to say something. The psychiatrist waited patiently. Percy took a deep breath, forming some sort of forced decision, he had to tell, but in small steps, he stared at the floor as he worked up the strength to speak.

"He did hurt me." he said weakly, the psychiatrist pieced it together quickly.

"Your first step-father?" Percy kept his eyes on the floor and nodded curtly. "How did he hurt you Percy?" The demigod couldn't answer, the quiet room suddenly felt deafening, the air felt a little too thick to breathe. "Did he hit you?" Percy nodded. "okay" he sounded in control, it was comforting. "Did he do anything else to you Percy?" the son of Poseison suddenly looked at him, there was an almighty element of fear in his eyes.

"No." Percy stood up quickly. "I have to go, I'm sorry." he made towards the door.

"Percy, wait!" it was too late, Percy ran out the door and sprinted down the corridor, his instincts telling him to run away as fast as he could. As he turned a corner he went face first into Nico.

"Percy? What's wrong? I was about to come wait for you." Percy looked between Nico and his escape route.

"I have to go." He gave Nico an apologetic look before he went to run off again but a hand clasped around his wrist.

"We have biology next." Percy tugged at his wrist and gave the other boy a desperate look.

"I don't care, now please, I have to go."

"I'm coming with you."

"No, you've got class." Nico shot him an incredulous look.

"Fuck it." Percy considered for a moment when he heard Mr. Richards call him from down the corridor."

"Okay, come on." they ran out the building and across the yard, sprinting through the gates and down the street. They stopped a few blocks from the school.

"and where were you intending on going?" Nico asked.

"anywhere but school" Nico studied him a moment, Percy _never_ got panicked like this unless it was something big.

"Come back to mine." Percy smiled guiltily. "Don't worry about it."

"You're skipping class." Percy said, Nico noticed him harshly rubbing the fabric of his jacket around his wrists anxiously.

"I don't care."

"You'll get in trouble."

"I _don't_ care." Nico insisted. "Now come on." Nico pulled him all the way to his place, Percy blushed the entire journey staring down at Nico's hand clasped around his own. No one was in when they got to the house, The son of Hades still held his hand as they went up to his room and, as always, locked the door behind them. "Now tell me what's wrong." Percy looked into Nico's eyes. Telling two People in one day?

"I just, in the counselling, we got onto a topic I didn't like and I tried to tell him something, I wasn't ready and I panicked and ran..." Nico frowned.

"Are you going to be okay?" Percy nodded.

"Yeah, I'm not looking forward to the telling off that I'm going to get though." he smiled sheepishly and Nico laughed.

"C'mon, it's not the first time we've skipped class." Nico offered.

"I guess." the two boys smiled at each other and were once again swamped by that weird emotion. They found themselves leaning a little closer to one another. Percy was the first to snap out of it. "Thanks anyway, for everything."

Nico stepped back and coughed "no problem." they smiled at each other awkwardly. "You haven't sat on your bed yet." Percy smirked and lounged across the futon, grinning playfully at the younger demigod. _He's so cute. _Nico blushed at his own thoughts. "You want a joint?"

"I wish, I can't go home this time of day stoned, then they really would kill me."

"Stay over. It's Saturday tomorrow and you have some clothes here."

"I gotta text Paul first else he'll freak out." Nico nodded and Percy pulled out his phone, quickly tapping a text to Paul, it wouldn't do any good to leave out any details, if Mr. Richards caught up with him he'd obviously tell him that he'd ran off, and there was no doubt that he'd find out that he'd skipped class. –_Paul_, _I freaked out in counselling and I ran off, Nico caught up with me and now I'm over at his, I'm really, really sorry.- _it was several agonising minutes before Paul replied.

_-Yes, he's told me. But not why. What did he say to you.- _it sounded urgent, but Paul knew that demigods couldn't have phone calls.

_-He didn't say anything. I just panicked, I'm sorry. I need some time alone. If it's okay, I want to stay at Nico's tonight-_

_-I don't like this Percy. He seemed really worried about you. Is there anything I should know?-_

_-No, I'll be fine. I just need some time.- _It was a few more minutes before he received a reply.

_-Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow. You're both down as ill for biology. Thank me later.-_

Percysmiled albeit a bit sadly. He needed time before he faced anyone again, there was no better sanctuary than with Nico. Speaking of which, he looked up to see the other boy had wondered to his bed and was currently laid back on the sheets calmly. "I can stay." Nico smiled and sat up.

_"_cool_."_

_"_yeah" Nico's smiled faded as he thought about earlier.

"are you going to go to another one?" the younger demigod pushed himself off the bed and onto his feet, walking casually over to him.

"I don't know. Paul said he'd spoke to him, so I guess I'll see what he says, failing that, he'll probably catch me on Monday." Nico nodded and sat down next to Percy. The older demigod sighed and stared sadly into nowhere.

Nico felt his heart beat loudly as he shifted closer to him and slipped an arm around his waist, resting his head on his shoulder.

Percy didn't object, he rested his head against Nico's and closed his eyes, he felt so much better with Nico, they sometimes had moments like this, though more rarely when they were sober. He didn't really know what it was or what it meant, but he knew it was nice.

But this was as far as the affection went. Percy was often tempted to do more, go farther, but he'd never permit himself, he'd never risk it.

"Percy?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you run away today?" Percy shifted uncomfortably.

"I told him something, well no" he struggled with his words. "sort of half told him and he asked me something I couldn't answer, because I didn't want to see how he looked at me after, I don't want anyone to look at me like that." Nico lifted his head, making Percy open his eyes, they stared at each other.

"Is that why you don't talk to me?" Percy winced and looked away sadly.

"I don't want to lose you Nico, you're too important to me."

_"_You'll never lose me."

"You won't want to know me if I tell you." Percy looked straight into the younger's eyes. "I... I can't risk it..."

"Something's are worth the risk." Nico leaned in towards the other boy, following everything his instincts were telling to do. His eyes flickered to Percy's lips. The older demigod _so _wantedthis to happen, but it couldn't, it just couldn't.

"Nico don't, I can't..." the son of Hades pulled away sighing angrily.

"I like you Percy, and I know you like me too."

"It's a little more complicated than that."

"I don't see how." Percy sighed.

"It just is, I can't be with you, I..." he stopped and looked at the heartbroken expression on Nico's face "Oh Nico." he raised his hands and held Nico's face before he leaned their foreheads together, stroking his thumbs over the younger's cheeks.

"Tell me what you told him." Percy pulled back.

"Nico I..." he sighed and slid his hands down to Nico's. "I told him something about from when I was younger. Before I knew about all the Greek crap. Something bad happened to me." Nico waited patiently for more. "Someone used to do things to me, hurt me." he could see the pained look on Percy's face, he held back from asking a torrent of questions, he needed to know what had happened to him, he needed to know how he could make it better.

"You think that's all it would take to make me run off?" Percy looked at him. "I'd never abandon you Percy." they smiled and held their heads together. "now come on. We're going to get smashed."

"We're what?" Nico grinned.

"Getting smashed. Legless, paraletic, shitfaced, leathered, trollied-"

"I get the point!" they laughed.

"We have our stash. Let's play a game." If Percy didn't know better he'd swear there was a devilish smirk mixed in with Nico's smile. The younger boy walked across the room to his bed, pulling out two bottles of vodka from beneath it before sitting on top. Percy raised an eyebrow but followed him and sat in front of the smirking demigod. He handed him one bottle. "Shall we play 'I never'?" Percy looked confused. "We take it in turns to say something we've never done, and if the other person has done it, then they take a drink."

"Right..." Percy still wasn't sure.

"I'll start." Nico decided to start simply and innocently. "I never drove a car." he said for example. Percy raised an eyebrow and took a drink. The alcohol burned his throat but it was good. He smirked with what he said next.

"I never got my nipple pierced." Nico glared at him and grudgingly took a swig. "I knew it!"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up, my turn." he studied the older boy. "I never... Kissed a girl." Percy spied him curiously before taking a drink.

"I never kissed a boy." Nico didn't move.

"I never kissed someone I didn't love." Percy wondered what Nico was getting at, they both wore unreadable expressions as Percy took a large drink.

"I never tricked my friend into a game of 'I never' just to find things out about him." Percy said playfully, Nico smirked and took a drink.

"I never held back my feelings out of a misguided attempt at protection." their faces were serious as Percy drank.

"I never loved more than one person." Percy said. Nico stayed still.

"I never said I love you and not meant it." Percy drank with an ever so slightly guilty expression on his face. "Why do I seem to be drinking more?" Percy asked, Nico smirked.

"I never kissed the person I love." Nico didn't move, it was obvious he wouldn't; he hadn't kissed anyone, but Percy wanted to say it.

"I never lied to my best friend" Nico's heart sank as Percy drank. "When?"

"When I told you I hadn't done it again. I had." he said with a guilty face, Nico sighed.

"I know." the son of Hades replied bluntly.

"I know you know." Nico twitched an eyebrow. "You didn't say anything."

"No. I just took care of you." It was what Nico was good at, taking care of Percy.

"You don't need to."

"I want to." Percy smiled, though he wished that taking care of him didn't usually mean holding his hair back as he puked.

"Now, I believe we were in the middle of getting smashed and having a fantastic evening." he smiled at the younger demigod. Indeed they were.

…**End of Chapter 10…**

I hope you all like it x3 please review! *giggle* Nico's nipple piercing :3

Until next time!

-Pp


	11. Itch

Yay! An update! Ima lazy person… Nah, I just sleep a lot, and work a lot, and day-dream a lot…

I went ice-skating this week! Which was a first for me, it was under the insistence of a few friends. It was fun! Though I had a big ice-burn down my arm, which I then later burnt at work. Fail. :)

**Anyway**! Sorry for the slow updates, I've been ill/busy/working. :/ but now! I am back! (little night at the museum 2 reference) :3

**Fluteanime11**: indeed… and yes, they have a sort of silent understanding. :3

**Thomygon Son of Thanatos**: haha xD you make me lol

**Paulo** **C**: haha, thanks, and you'll have to wait and find out :3

**Guest**: lol thank you :3 t doin drus is part of their issues D:

**Nico Di Angilo's girlfriend -3**: yaya! Thanks! And no! It's not strange at all, don't worry! :D

**DarkLove12489**: I think Nico would like piercings, he can rock the whole alternative scene. :3*imagines future scene involving Percy and Nico's nipple* ;3 a d indeed, Gabe is an ass.

** .I' **: haha, lol xD

**Sunrain**: thanks :D

**allwrong4life**: indeed :3

**KittiBell**: thanks x3 and maybe… you'll have to wait and see. :3

**Malenti**: lol! XD

**KuroshitsujixPJaO**: thanks :)

**Dawn** **252525**: haha, thanks :3

**Liz**: thanks, yes, he's mortal and you'll have to wait and see :3

**thekilljoy**: I will! Don't worry :)

**cheyennexx**: thanks :)

…**Chapter 11 - Itch…**

A few hours later saw them in their usual position on the futon. Percy sat normally, holding Nico's legs that were across his lap, the younger demigod was laid on his back across the length of the futon.

"Nico... I want my lip pierced." Nico got up onto his elbows and shot him an odd look.

"Where did that come from?"

"Hold my hand while I do it?" Percy asked, ignoring the question.

"What, now?"

"Yeah? Why not?"

"It's like 7 o'clock... Why do you want your lip pierced?"

"You said you wanted to once." Nico gave him a look that said 'yeah, and' "and I like them so I might get one." Nico stared at him in disbelief before just dropping back down, resigning Percy to the fact that he was drunk. They had carried on their game and apparently Percy had done a lot more than Nico had. "Nico?"

"mmm?" the older demigod lifted Nico's legs off his lap and pulled his own legs from under them. He moved himself to lay next to the other boy, snuggling between him and the back of the futon. He rested his head on Nico's chest, wrapping an arm around his waist and nuzzled into his warmth.

"I feel so safe with you." Nico smiled, but it didn't last long. "don't hurt me." he tried to lift himself but Percy had him pinned.

"What? Why would I hurt you?" he looked down to see a tear streak across Percy's cheek. The older boy was definitely having a sad-drunk moment. "I'd never hurt you... Never..." Percy nodded weakly against his chest.

"I'm afraid I'll hurt you. You're so precious my Nico" the comment both concerned and flattered Nico. Percy wouldn't hurt him, and he wondered if this was what Percy had always been holding back from, this affection, it was wonderful in every way. Even if the older boy was drunk.

"You would never hurt me either." Nico stroked Percy's hair and soon enough he fell asleep. "Te amo mio tesoro" As they lay there, Nico's head swam with thoughts, he'd never had a boyfriend. He'd never had a girlfriend either, but that was beside the point. Nico was completely innocent of that world, but he knew his feelings, he really liked Percy, he had for a while. Percy liked him too, but the son of Hades couldn't understand why he held back, stopped himself from being happy.

He pulled his small tobacco tin from his pocket along with his lighter and smoked a joint as Percy slept. Smoking had become a habit for him, no one but Percy and the guys downstairs knew about it though. If his dad knew about the weed he either wasnt bothered or had chosen not to say anything.

…

Percy woke a few hours later, groggily waking to Nico's familiar scent. He pulled himself up and looked around sleepily and confused "good morning."

"It's past ten at night."

"I knew that." Nico laughed. "What happened?"

"You fell alseep." Percy looked down at where he'd been laying, a pink blush spreading across his cheeks. "I couldn't be bothered to move you." Nico tried to play it off but he couldn't hide his burning cheeks either.

"I think my hangover is setting in already." Nico laughed.

"You deserve it." Percy smiled sheepishly.

"Harsh."

"But true." Percy smiled, but in truth he felt terrible. He had a sick feeling in his stomach that the psychiatrist would tell Paul sooner or later, then everything would go to Hades. He knew his mom would never forgive herself if she knew. She knew about the odd whack or smack he received, but she was oblivious to how far it had went. He _didn't _feel relieved that he'd started to open up about it, he felt regret, he wanted it all to go away. He needed another drink, which reminded him, he'd fell asleep on Nico. Poor Nico, the amount of mixed signals he kept sending toward him.

Nico could tell Percy was in an odd mood, and that for Percy was never good, in times like these he could only be thankful that he had the night to watch over him. Percy sighed "I need a drink."

"Do you really thinks that's a good idea?" Percy looked at him almost pleadingly.

"Trust me, I need it." Nico gave him a sympathetic look and seemed to give him permission, not that he had to ask, but Nico was Percy's protective authority. Percy retrieved his vodka, taking a large swig on his way back to Nico, they sat facing each other leaning back on the arms of the futon. Nico was smoking again as Percy drank, a distant and distracted expression on his face.

The older demigod scrubbed his face, hangover being numbed by the fresh consumption of alcohol, he wanted to be entirely numb, he didn't have to care, he wanted to push to the stage where the bad things didn't even cross his mind, where his head was buzzed and woozy. He always drank like a fish when he got into it, it was probably why Nico always got so worried.

The younger boy watched him, he knew exactly what Percy felt like, he'd seen this before. But the son of Hades fell asleep, knees drawn to his chest and head laid on the back of the chair. Percy watched him a moment before standing up as silently as he could, stumbling several feet before shakily gaining his balance. He grabbed his bag and walked into the bathroom, he rooted through the bags contents until he found what he was looking for, a rectangle of card, held closed with an elastic band. He fumbled it open lifting out a straight razor. His heart thundered in his chest, the only thoughts in his mind were, _I have to do this, I have to do this. _He hastily pulled off his jacket revealing arms covered in white lines, old scars and new scars alike.

He traced his fingers over the marks, he felt the itch, that ever persistent itch, it never left him alone, like a demon clawing at his skin whenever his mood brought him down, but with the same effect as a mosquito bite, something that you just _have_ to scratch...

He lifted the razor to his arm, to the soft flesh just below his elbow and dug in, bringing it across the skin. He gasped, feeling the physical pain beat down the emotional, hacking it into submission._ Just one more... _He did it again, breathing heavily, drops of blood hit the white porcelain of the sink. He had shocked himself the first time he'd done it, he had stared at his handiwork for what seemed like hours, overwhelmed by his newfound power over himself. He didn't know how he was got through his Achilles shield, maybe because he wanted it, but he was dirtily thankful for it, he'd kept it a secret, it had took Nico actually seeing the marks before he clocked on. _Another... _it was blissful, a rush of a totally sublime kind. His arms were a risky but quick fix. He knew long ago that he shouldn't do it there, but he just didn't care. He dropped down onto the cold tiles, they contrasted with the heated flush of his skin. He wondered if people would understand if they knew, if they knew everything. He head was spinning from alcohol, and not in a good way, he didn't want to pass out. "Nico-" he coughed, giving his voice some strength."Nico." he slid sideways onto the floor, the cold kiss of the tiles hitting him like a tonne of bricks. His brain felt numb, it was a peculiar feeling that only the very drunk have ever experienced, Percy knew it well. "Nico!" he felt like he was shouting, but he was merely talking, though it had been enough.

…

"Nico." the son of hades drifted lazily to consciousness, blinking the sleep from his eyes, when he focused his mind couldn't quite comprehend Percy's absence from in front of him. "Nico!" he shot up, almost falling over himself in his run to the bathroom, bursting in to find his dear friend slumped down on the floor, a smudge of red on the tiles.

"Percy!" he grabbed a small towel from the bathroom shelf, clamping it tightly onto Percy's abused arm. His other hand then went to Percy's head, lifting it to see the older boy was barely conscious, eyes lolling around, he was completely out of it. "You fucking idiot." He pulled the towel from his arm, checking the cuts, they didn't look too deep and they weren't bleeding too much. He hauled Percy up and sat him on the edge of the bath, continually having to catch him. He held Percy's head up looked into his glazed eyes. "Percy, look at me, concentrate, hold here." his lifted Percy's hand to hold the edge of the sink, keeping himself upright. He ran out, checking by the futon, Percy had drank an entire bottle of vodka, straight. He was cursing himself for falling asleep, he grabbed a tin from his shelf and darted back to the bathroom, pulling Percy back to his feet in front of the sink.

Nico held Percy's arm beneath the cool running water, washing the blood clean from his arm, it wasn't the first time he'd done this, but Percy had been doing so well lately, or so he'd thought. He was struggling to hold the older boy up as well as wash his arm. He sat him back down and opened the tin, picking out the small piece of ambrosia it contained. "you're lucky I have this. You have more than enough scars" _but here's to hoping that you can keep it down... _"eat this."

"mmm, no" Percy turned his head away, nearly falling backwards into the bath.

"Percy please." he held the older demigod's head looking into his eyes, Percy stared back.

"M'Nico, you're amazing." the son of Poseidon leaned forward to kiss him, but Nico swiftly held his jaw and shoved the ambrosia into his mouth, holding his mouth shut afterwards.

"Eat." he commanded firmly. Percy chewed and swallowed as the other boy watched with narrowed eyes. Nico checked his arm before he had to practically drag Percy out of the bathroom and drop him onto the bed. The son of Hades sighed, Percy was going to feel so bad in the morning. Between the hangover, and the guilt, he always felt guilty when Nico had to help him, plus he wouldn't be happy that the ambrosia would make his scars fade a little, Percy liked his scars They were risky things to wear, but he wanted them. Nico understood his obsession with them, he knew most of the things that could make Percy snap, but today... What had someone done to him...

Percy had fell asleep. Nico sat on the bed next to him, leaning back against the headboard, he watched him for the remainder of the night. He knew that this wouldn't be the last time Percy ended up like this, the last drink, the last cut... He felt sick, sometimes Percy would be so close to the point of no return that Nico actually saw his life ebbing away... The son of Hades had managed to bring him back every time, but his worst nightmare was the time when he wouldn't be able to, he feared that that time might not be far away. He severely hoped that this psychologist knew what he was doing, because he was disarming a time bomb.

…**End of Chapter 11…**

Yay! Finally finished this chapter! :D

Please review! I wasn't _too_ graphic for you was I? D: I hope not.

…

Shameless advertising time :D

**Read my Percy Jackson stories :D *offers cookies***

Series:

I Give It All - ApolloxPercy

Crazy - PercyxNico

Love starts with Sex - ApolloxHermes

My Run Away - HermesxPercy

Overcast - PercyLuke (rape-fic)

Oneshots:

Skirmish - PercyxAres

You - PercyxDionysus

…

Until next time,

-Pp


	12. Session Four

Eeep, I haven't updated this in so long D: I have such big ideas for it too, hopefully I'll be updating this quicker.

…**Chapter 12 - Session Four…**

Student: Perseus (Percy) Jackson

Age: 17

Notes: ADHD, Dyslexic, on academic report.

Session Four:

Seems anxious and frustrated, almost certainly concealing personal issues.

Student has left session abruptly after admission of;

'He did hurt me'

I immediately confirmed that he was referring to his first step-father, a one Gabe Ugliano, supporting my suspicions from a previous session.

Refused to speak any further on the issue verbally, I asked how he was hurt -received no answer then moved on to a more specific question of 'did he hit you' to which Percy nodded. When I further asked if anything else was done to him he reacted erratically and insisted upon leaving.

Percy left the room before I could speak further, and subsequently left the school premises.

On a side note, upon losing sight of Percy after I followed him I came into contact with Mr. Blofis, a teacher as well as Percy's second step-father. By policy and as promised the content of our sessions was not discussed, however I was obliged to mention that Percy left our session upset and had most likely fled the premises.

It was later reported to me that Nico Di'Angelo did not turn up for his timetabled Biology lesson, with which he shared with Percy. Under my recommendation both students are to be signed out as ill under exceptional circumstances, purely for Percy's psychological benefit.

…**End of Chapter 12…**


	13. A Little Bit Lost

…**Chapter 13 - A Little Bit Lost…**

His dreams felt all over the place, they were often erratic after drinking, he found that he moved around a lot too, and would probably fall out of bed more often than not if it weren't for his best friend.

"Nico?" the son of Poseidon croaked as he drifted awake, he was aware of a vague ache in his arm and a pounding in his head.

"Yeah Percy?" the older demigod twisted his head to look up at his best friend, he was slouched back against the headboard, he looked exhausted, the dark rings around his eyes now rivaling his own. Percy knew what he'd done, but he couldn't bring himself to mention it. As always he ignored the issue, much to Nico's constant annoyance.

"You okay?"

"Yes Percy, I'm fine." he lied, but the worst of it was that Percy knew he lied, but he couldn't question him further, what was the point? He knew why he was upset, he knew how to stop it. He could apologise all he wanted, but it wouldn't just make it all better.

"What time is it?"

"eight." Nico's voice was cold, he had a faraway look in his eyes, distant. He was hurt, Percy didn't know what to say, so instead and turned over, slinking closer to the child of Hades and resting his head on his thigh. He nuzzled against the familiar smell of Nico's jeans. The younger boy reached out a hand, hesitating to stroke it through Percy's hair, instead opting to place it on his shoulder, tears pricked at his eyes, burning trails down his cheeks. _Why do things have to be so messed up all the time? _Percy drifted back to sleep, clinging somewhat like a child onto Nico's leg.

The younger demigod kept his arm on Percy's shoulders, content that if Percy tried to move it would wake him too, and finally fell asleep.

…

"Percy… Percy, wake up, Paul's texting." the son of Poseidon groaned in his sleep, reaching out to haphazardly take the phone from Nico's hand. He winced as the blinding light hit his eyes, he saw other than the 5 texts from Paul, that it was nearly two in the afternoon.

10:00am _-Percy, be home by twelve please_

12:30pm _-Percy where are you?_

1:04pm -_I'm getting worried, either reply or come home._

1:05pm _-in fact, do both_.

1:56pm -_Percy, I am minutes away from going to the school and finding Nico's address._

Percy blinked. He was in trouble, he quickly tapped out a reply.

_-Paul, I'm fine, calm down, I just overslept, okay?_

_-Home, now. Please._

Percy sighed, he really didn't want to go. He became blatantly aware that he was in Nico's bed, snuggled against Nico's thigh, hands so close to Nico's… he pulled away, wincing at the throb in his skull.

"um. Sorry."

"I'd offer you some painkillers but I don't think it's such a good idea with how much you drank." Percy at least tried to look sorry.

"I have to get home. Paul's getting mad." Nico hardly found that surprising.

…

Nico walked him home, they only thing either of them brought to their conversation was silence. Percy could all but feel the burn coming from the younger demigod, he knew Nico hated this with a passion, but he couldn't think of anything that he could do to make it better, all he felt like doing was letting himself sink further into it, let it consume him. But Nico would never allow that, and there was just a tiny part of him, the part that kept him going that considered, maybe Nico was right, and it was that part that, albeit unknown to himself, that was keeping him afloat, keeping him _alive, _and it was all for _Nico._

They mumbled some sort of goodbye to each other before Nico left and Percy went in. The son of Poseidon was expecting some sort of shouting match as soon as he stepped through the door, but he was greeted with a biting silence. He walked cautiously through the house until he found Paul in the kitchen with his mother.

"Hey." He said simply, dropping his bag by the door.

"Hi Percy." The man replied calmly, Percy cautiously stepped closer. It was a minute before he spoke again. "What happened yesterday?" The demigod sighed.

"Nothing, I just didn't want to be there." He said sorely, cursing himself, that wasn't the best excuse he could have come up with. They were both staring at him, probably thankful that he wasn't overreacting, and consoled by it. To them if he didn't seem too upset it must not be something major. His mother seemed more concerned than Paul, but she could see past his facade better than Paul would ever be able to, however it looked like she wasn't going to press the issue, and he was grateful for that. "Can I get something to eat?" He asked hopefully, he wasn't particularly hungry, but Nico would flay him if he endangered his health any further, and it would be something positive for his parents to see, regardless of whether or not he actually ate much.

"of course Perce." His mother answered softly. There was a collective sigh as the family dispersed.

…

Nico - _How bad was it?_

Percy - _it was okay actually, they weren't angry, but they only asked what happened, and that was it._

Nico_ - Maybe the Psychiatrist guy asked them not to question you._

Percy - _I don't know._

The son of Poseidon threw his phone down onto his bed, running a hand through his hair. He pulled off his sunglasses, putting them down on his desk before collapsing on his bed.

…Sunday Night…

He didn't want to go. Yesterday it had seemed so far away, he'd had 24 hours. Now it was Sunday night, school was tomorrow. _He didn't want to go._

Paul had told him that he should go see Mr. Richards again. _Tomorrow. Right after biology. _He sighed, on the bright side at least he'd be finishing closer to the same time as Nico now. Besides… He told Nico he'd go to them, because Nico said he needed them, he tried hard not to resent him for it.

He rolled over in his bed. His arm ached. His skin throbbed whenever he was reminded of how hopeless things felt. Nico had taken the razor blades he'd kept hidden in his bag. He had more of course, and he would always be able to get more, he went to lengths to ensure that Sally or Paul never found any. Though he guessed having razors could be easily explainable, he did have to shave after all, growing a beard would make him look a little _too _much like his father. But what he wouldn't be able to explain the red tint they had. The dry blood on their edges, bloody finger prints on whatever card had been around to wrap them in. He took care of his blades, but he never cleaned them, to clean them would be sacrilege. He liked that word, _sacrilege, _he felt that it suited him quite well. Not that he kept the task in such holy regard, what with using words like that, no, Sometimes he felt that it was a dirty blade for a dirty task for a dirty person, and there was no getting away from that, he knew he sank lower every time he did it, but he couldn't stand to hear even a word against the act. Nico tried, he really did and Percy had to give him credit for it.

He got up almost automatically and crept to his desk. In the glow of the moon seeping in around his blinds he carefully picked up a few books, placing them aside silently, he could hear his breath catching in his throat, the night was so silent, his mom and Paul would long be in bed now and asleep. He almost smiled when he found what he was looking for, a book on Greek mythology, he ran his fingers over the cover, over intricate purple and silver patterning, he admired the texture under his fingers before turning the book over and opening the back cover. There it was. He felt that it gave him a twisted sense of irony to keep it there, a sadistic sense of pride.

He padded silently to the bathroom, locking the door securely behind himself. He went to the sink, it was his system, his regime, the evidence was easier to destroy when he did it this way, he would sometimes spend ages just watching the swirls of red go around the basin and disappear.

He held his arm across the sink and braced the blade on his skin. He thought of his last counseling session. _One cut across his forearm_. The episode at Nico's. _Another_. Tomorrows imminent meeting with Mr. Richards. _Another_.

This wasn't him feeling despair anymore, if anything, this was worse, it was self-punishment, he was angry, ashamed, frustrated. This was for his stupidity, this was for hurting Nico, this was _because_ of Nico -he had no right taking his marks away- and this was for cutting himself because of Nico, if he ever knew, that would hurt him most of all… But his cycle was kicking in, the flames were receding, and yet again he was left with an empty sense of numbness and a throbbing arm. He started another, only to find he didn't have the energy anymore, it was over…

He held his arm under the tap until the blood stopped flowing, at first letting the water run ice cold, but then having an ounce of mercy for himself and warming it up a little. He was thankful for it, he was calm now, levelheaded. He made sure there wasn't a trace of blood left before he crept back to his room, putting the razor back into its book.

Maybe his dad was right. His life was destined to end in tradegy, though he never thought it was going to be quite like this, at times when he'd felt completely desperate he'd considered calling out for him, 'praying to him' but he never did. He was a disgrace, not only to himself but to his father too. His dad would have nothing more to do with him if he knew, he couldn't risk it. Once he considered that maybe his dad would just kill such a shameful thing, he couldn't see it, but then again, how well did he _really _know him?

He went to his wardrobe, sliding open a draw and pulling out a random neckerchief. Red today. How fitting. He wrapped it around his arm as casual looking as possible before crawling back into bed. He found that he fell asleep undisturbed this time, curling up into himself, content to surround himself with cozy blankets as if nothing had happened.

…**End of Chapter 13…**


	14. Walking The Line

…**Chapter 14 - Walking the line…**

"It's very good to see you again Percy." The demigod was impressed that the counsellor could maintain his stupid smile and not let any sort of pity creep into his features. "Please, take a seat." He gestured over to the couches, at which Percy stared uncertainly before sitting down. "How are you today?" Percy glared at him, he couldn't bring himself to talk. This guy knew, he'd figured it out, he just knew it, so why wasn't he asking about it?

"Why am I here?"

"Because you want some help Percy." The demigod pursed his lips. Repeatedly saying his name, keeping it personal, very clever. "Why else would you be here?" He had a point. "It's your choice to be here."

"Oh please, Paul would just get in outside help if I refused to come here. Then I'd have no choice." Mr. Richards remained silent, what Percy said was sadly true.

"He's very concerned for you."

"Well he shouldn't be." Percy stared at the floor, slouched back on the sofa with his arms firmly crossed. He didn't mean it, he was so very grateful that Paul cared about him, there was just nothing his step-father could do.

"On the contrary, he should, and he does. He only tries to help you, but he doesn't understand-"

"Understand what?" Percy snapped. "What do _you_ understand that he doesn't?"

"Calm down Percy."

"What's makes you so fucking smart, you know nothing about me!" It frustrated Percy that he wasn't drawing a reaction from the man, he remained calm and stoic. After a moment Percy huffed and drew his knees up, perching his heels on the edge of the sofa. He hugged his legs, half burying his face and glaring dejectedly at the floor. He barely noticed the counsellor quietly writing a few notes. "Sorry."

"Apology accepted Percy, think nothing of it." He wasn't there to punish Percy for any outbursts, he was there to help him.

"Why haven't you asked me about Friday?"

"Remember Percy, we talk about what you want to talk about, I'm not here to push you."

"Why bother about someone who probably just got smacked around a few times too many." More notes. Percy wondered what he was writing.

"It wasn't right for him to harm you Percy." The demigod's eye flicked up to look at him uncertainly. They were carefully chosen words. 'Harm'. He was referring to more than just Smelly Gabe hitting him. "You must remember that." He glared back at the floor.

"But you don't know what he did to me." Percy said, wondering how it had come to this in just a few sessions, was it that obvious that he had a problem? Was Gabe that obvious of a culprit?

"I'm here to help if you want to tell me." He replied, he sounded honest. Percy furrowed his brow, he didn't know what to do. "Take your time Percy." The demigod sighed.

"There's nothing to tell." He said stubbornly, he clenched his hands painfully around his arms.

"I assure you Percy, whatever it is, I can help. There's nothing to be ashamed of." Shaun said softly. Percy felt tears prick at his eyes.

"There's _everything_ to be ashamed of." He replied solemnly. The counsellor rightly thought he should remain silent a moment, letting the boy take his time. "He was a horrible human being." Percy said quietly. "And only higher than making my mother's life miserable his favourite thing to do was hurt me. And, I know that she only married him to try and make _my_ life better, but I couldn't help but hate her a little for it. I used to ask myself why would she leave me with him? Why did he want to hurt me so much? And I wondered if she knew, if she knew that he hurt me…" tears flowed down the demigod's face. "How horrible must I be to think things like that?

"It's not horrible Percy, they were reasonable questions, you were only a child." the counsellor said, almost convincing him. Whatever Percy was going to say was cut off by the bell. "You don't have to leave Percy, you can be excused from class." Percy thought about it a moment but shook his head, wiping the tear drops from his face. He stood up, pulling his bag onto his shoulder.

"Tomorrow?" He asked quietly.

"Same time." Percy managed a weak smile before he left, composing himself in the corridor before walking away.

…

He finished early that day and so did Nico. He met the younger demigod with a hug, earning them a few pointed looks in their direction. They were both oblivious to them as they walked out the school without as much as a backwards glance. When they finally reached Nico's room Percy's attitude changed, his mood brightened. He set his bag down, sitting on his futon and rummaging through it a moment before pulling out a shiny silver package.

"Happy Birthday Neeks." The son of Hades grinned and accepted the gift shyly, sitting down next to him. "go ahead, open it."

"It's not my birthday until midnight"

"I won't be here then…" Percy said quietly.

"You could just wait until tomorrow." Nico said, making the older boy pout. "Fine." he added, smirking. Percy rolled his eyes as Nico picked open the wrapping, rather than just ripping it off like he would have. He became concerned at the expression that crossed the younger's face, it seemed sad. "What's wrong? Don't you like it?" Nico stared down at it, a beautiful silver photo frame with a photo of him and Nico in it, both of them happy, not drunk or high, just happy.

"Percy, it's amazing." Nico looked at it a moment more before jumping Percy in a hug.

Percy caught him, holding him tightly and taking in his scent, when the hug finally ended they barely pulled apart, they still held each other, their cheeks brushed against each other's and when they stopped the tips of their noses touched. Their eyes flickered down to each other's lips, and they weren't exactly sure who moved in first, but their lips met gently.

It took a few seconds before Nico responded to the movement, closing his eyes and matching the movements of Percy's lips, they were soft and moist, exactly how he had imagined them… He became lost in it, it was his first kiss… he melted into Percy's embrace, clutching tightly onto his present.

Percy couldn't believe it, he'd given in and the prize was oh so sweet, he hadn't realised how much he'd wanted this… It dawned on him in a rather delayed fashion that there was definitely something going on between them.

Percy pulled back slowly, Nico followed his lips until he realised, opening his eyes to see a soft smile on the elder's face, nothing else mattered right now, he was in his and Nico's world. "Was that okay for you?" He asked, Nico did a double take.

"You're asking me if it was okay? Was _I_ okay?" Percy laughed and Nico blushed.

"Yes, you were great." he wore a genuine smile as he spoke.

"Can we do it again?" he asked shyly. Percy laughed again and leaned back in to meet Nico's lips. The younger was more confident this time, but hesitated as he felt the other's tongue prod against his mouth, but he parted his lips, granting it entry. Their kissing slowed as their tongues wrapped around each other. Nico decided he very much liked kissing Percy.

The ghost king shifted a little closer, sliding his hands around Percy's torso, finally getting to savour the warmth of the other boy's body. Percy pulled away as Nico innocently placed a hand on his thigh to lean closer. "careful." Percy whispered uneasily. Nico withdrew his hand, blushing.

"Sorry." He looked up bashfully at the older demigod. "I'm new to this." Percy smiled at Nico's red cheeks.

"It wasn't you, I just... I'm nervous." they both smiled shyly.

"You're not the only one." Percy slid his hand down to hold Nico's. "D'you wanna watch a film or something?"

Sure." it wasn't an unusual thing for them to do, Nico had an Ipad that he used for his school work, it was a present from Hades who occasionally called him through Skype on it, either to check up on him or to request his presence in the underworld for some reason. Percy remembered the few times he quickly had to roll off the bed to get out of camera view when Hades had called. but regardless, they usually propped it against the headboard and laid on their stomachs to watch a film. It was the only piece of technology that -presumably because of its divine origin- didn't go haywire or call gods-know-what to them when they touched it.

They closed the blinds and laid on Nico's bed, they picked a horror movie as usual, they weren't about to switch to a romance, it wasn't their style. Nico usually picked at the finer points of all the zombies, ghosts, ghouls, etc. explaining exactly how and why they were inaccurate, Percy was fast becoming an expert on the subject, but tonight he remained silent, content to lay holding onto Percy's hand. The older boy occasionally leaned over to kiss Nico's cheek.

For once Percy felt comfortable, happy, all of his worries were gone. For now he wasn't even considering anything past that night.

About halfway through Nico noticed that Percy wasn't really paying attention to the movie. "What?" he asked shyly, after looking to see the older boy staring at him.

"I've never seen you just smile like that."

"I smile plenty."

"Not for no reason.

"I have a reason." Percy tilted his head in question. "I'm happy." the sea child smiled.

"I make you happy?" Nico squeezed Percy's hand tightly.

"Very." they stared into each other's eyes. "Don't hold back your feelings anymore, please." Nico had a pleading look on his face. Percy too. Percy shuffled closer to the other demigod, he stroked his fingers through the soft waves of his dark hair and kissed his forehead. Nico practically whimpered at the contact.

"It feels so right Nico, but I'm scared that it's not the right thing to do." Percy said against his head.

"Since when have we ever done things right." Nico said, making Percy smile.

"Can we take it slow?" he asked cautiously.

"Of course. Does that mean we're like, together?"

Percy blushed. "Do you want to be?" Nico nodded shyly. "Then I guess it does." he smiled, but he was still uneasy, Nico had asked him not to hold back his feelings and this was what his feelings were asking him to do. They kissed lightly, both blushing as they pulled apart, diverting their attention back to the film.

…

"Percy?" the older demigod noticed that the film had ended and Nico was lying on his back looking up at him.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still want your lip pierced?" for a few seconds Percy stared at him in confusion, then he remembered and sighed.

"My mom would kill me. Which reminds me, I want to see your piercing." Nico played coy and flashed the three he had in his ear. "You know which one I mean." Percy didn't even consider that he was asking Nico to reveal his chest, but the younger showed little reluctance, sitting up and pulling his black t-shirt over and off his head, dropping it down onto the floor beside the bed. He laid back down nonchalantly, and Percy saw the object of his curiosity; a little black metal bar through Nico's right nipple. Percy couldn't lie to himself, it was kind of sexy. Nico watched Percy's eyes rake his body, he hoped he liked what he saw. But the older demigod suddenly looked away. "I'm sorry, I-"

"No! don't be." Nico reached out and caught Percy's hand, he placed the palm flat against his ribs. The older demigod gasped at the contact with the smooth skin, he spread his fingers out along it and explored. Nico watched him lean over and kiss his stomach, the sensation sent shivers through his body, the lips trailed up and nibbled at his piercing making Nico let out a small whimpering moan. Percy let out shaky breaths against Nico's chest.

"I've wanted to be with you for so long..." he murmured against the warm skin.

"Why didn't you just say?" Nico asked. Percy moved away from his chest and looked into his eyes, half of his face was in shadows, the only light was blaring from the iPad. He could see Nico's eyes glistening. Percy sighed.

"Don't you think we're too young or something?" Percy said weakly.

"Percy, we're seventeen."

"You're 16." Percy corrected

"I'm over 80 if you want to get specific." Nico watched the stoic expression on Percy's face. Percy had to admit that Nico had won that argument.

"Are you sure you want this, want me?"

"Yes, of course."

"I don't want to take advantage of you."

"You won't."

"What if I hurt you, rush you..." he pulled back from the younger demigod. "I shouldn't be touching your body." he cast his eyes away.

"Percy, we've talked about this, you won't hurt me. And I'm not doing things that I don't want to, I'm ready for anything." An almost annoyed expression crossed Percy's face.

"Don't say that." he said solemnly, Nico just didn't understand.

"Well what do you want me to say?" Nico asked, he reached over and slid his hand into Percy's. The older demigod sighed and squeezed it tightly, staring intently into the dark end of the room. "I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with." Percy looked at him.

"I want to please you." He said, almost sadly.

"For you to be happy would please me." Nico replied, Percy smiled and moved to lay by him. The son of Hades laid down with him. They wrapped their arms around each other and Percy kissed him gently on the lips. "I have something for you." He pulled away from the sea prince and retrieved something from under the bed.

Percy looked at it. "It's not my birthday yet." It was soon, but not yet.

"Oh well, I think you should have it now." Percy seemed reluctant but gave in when he saw Nico's smile. He took the small box from his friend's hands, it was black, tied with green ribbon. When he opened it he realised that he would never have guessed what it contained. A key. "To here." Nico said. "You're here most of the time anyway." Percy grinned.

"Nico this is epic." He pulled the younger boy into a soft kiss. This was all amazing, but the outside world was starting to creep in, this private world was great, but he couldn't keep it secret, that wouldn't be fair to Nico. He didn't know if he was ready to have this out, not with other things going on. Kissing was okay, but he didn't want to go further than that, whereas Nico clearly would… His thoughts were interrupted by Percy's phone going off. He sighed, picking it up. "It's nearly six, I gotta go."

"You want me to walk you home?" Nico asked hopefully.

"I'll be okay, I'll text you tonight."

…

As he walked home he felt guilty. He was in a relationship with Nico, that felt so alien to say, but Nico didn't know things, important things, he was telling the counsellor his secrets, and his outburst last night… Nico would hit the roof, he wasn't sure whether or not the son of hades noticed his insistence in keeping his jacket on -not that it was anything out of the ordinary, he definitely would have said something had he seen the red neckerchief around his wrist. He felt bad… lying by omission was still lying.

…

Paul was acting a little odd around him when he walked in; he guessed the man was just anxious, and eager to check his progress in the counselling. But Percy didn't care to tell him, his step-father would just have to deal with it.

…

That night he twizzled his new key between his fingers, holding it close as he thought about he and Nico's kisses, he hadn't even thought about the fallout of doing it all, they were so right, but so wrong, maybe _too_ wrong…

…**End of Chapter 14…**

Poor Percy feels so tormented, if he doesn't get his head straight he's going to lead Nico into a whole world of heartbreak :(

Please review, let me know what you think!

**My other**** Percy Jackson stories :D *offers cookies***

Series:

I Give It All - ApolloxPercy (**updated**)

Crazy - PercyxNico (**updated)**

Love starts with Sex - ApolloxHermes (**updated**)

My Run Away - HermesxPercy (**updating soon**)

Overcast - PercyLuke (rape-fic) **(updated)**

**Guilt - PoseidonxPercy (NEW)**

**Wounded - PercyxNico (NEW - uploading soon) -request by lollogout**

Oneshots:

Skirmish - PercyxAres

You - PercyxDionysus

**Brotherly - PercyxTriton (NEW - will possibly be series****)**

Until next time,

-Pp


	15. Session Five

Double upload of Crazy!

…**Chapter 15 - Session Five…**

Student: Perseus (Percy) Jackson

Age: 17

Notes: ADHD, Dyslexic, on academic report.

Session Five:

I seem to have taken a step back with Percy after his panic in our previous session, he now seems to have withdrawn further.

He questioned the purpose of him being here, also seems to resent his step father's (Mr Blofis') desire to help him. He is correct in his assumption that if he refused to attend our sessions Mr Blofis would then enlist outside help.

Highly defensive and agitated mood, I cannot be sure whether this is due to our previous session's ending or an event since.

His posture has grown more defensive and conserved.

Definite cause for concern of previous abuse, lack of self-worth due to physical abuse -used the term 'smacked around'

I suspect that Percy feels he deserved such abuse -I must look into this further.

Starting to open up about his first step-fathers treatment despite the topic causing him great distress.

Feels intense guilt over resentment toward his mother during childhood years with step-father.

…

On the subject of outside help, Mr Blofis has discussed this with me, but my recommendation remains that Percy would benefit more from voluntary sessions, backing him into a corner would cause him unnecessary distress.

…**End of Chapter 15…**


	16. Progression

**Warning: Self-Harm**

…**Chapter 16 - Progression…**

He kept the key in his hand for the most part, playing with it between his fingers, it helped his nerves somewhat, just having something for his hand to do. He hadn't seen Nico that morning, though that was hardly surprising, he'd come in early again to make sure no one saw him go to counselling. He reluctantly pushed the item into his jeans pocket as he knocked the on the door to Mr Richards' office.

…

"You seem distracted today Percy" the demigod lifted his head, realising that he'd been staring intently at the carpet for a good 5 minutes, they'd ma the usual opening chatter, he'd been asked how he was and his answer was as it usually was, he was 'fine'. He was sat in his usual spot on the end of the sofa, knees drawn up in his defensive position.

"sorry." The psychiatrist nodded in acceptance. They hadn't mentioned yesterday's topic, Percy started to regret not taking him up on the offer of having a longer session, it was irritating having them broken up like this. "Do you think I'm normal?" Shaun tilted his head thoughtfully.

"Do you have a reason to think otherwise?" _Yeah, actually, you see I'm the son of Poseidon, my best friend and sort of _-he couldn't bring himself to even think boyfriend- _is the ghost king. I can breathe water, make hurricanes, speak to horses and cause earthquakes_… but he guessed even with foregoing all that he wasn't normal, he didn't trust people, he couldn't connect with people and most of all he couldn't feel comfortable or safe around anyone, except Nico that is… he must have been silent for a while because Mr Richards spoke again. "Has anyone made you feel like you're not normal? Said anything, done anything?" Percy furrowed his brow.

"No… I mean, I don't really talk to people enough for _anyone_ to say anythingto me."

"Why not socialise more?"

"I've tried, I just, don't like people…" he bit his lip nervously. "Everyone tends to talk about things I know nothing about, and like things I don't… And, I'm not interested in anything they are either…" he casually glanced sideways, noticing the counsellor writing. "People make me feel uncomfortable."

"Do you feel uncomfortable now?" He asked. Percy nodded. "Do you know why that is?"

"Because I have to talk about all this stuff, think about it… Anywhere else I just have to listen to stuff." He shifted awkwardly. "I hear them talk about movies I've never seen, people I've never heard of, things I've never done… the guys, they go on about parties I don't go to." He laughed slightly. "I go to wilder parties than anyone my age."

"It's not safe for you to be going to parties like that."

"That's what Nico says."

"Does Nico go to these parties?" He asked. Percy stared at him uncertainly. "I'm not asking to get you or him into any trouble, you have my word" The demigod sighed.

"Only to look after me… he doesn't really like going. Nico doesn't like people, not for any reason, he gets on fine, he's just kind of a loner." Percy stared at the floor as he spoke, his mind occupied by the previous days kissing.

"Is something wrong Percy?"

"N-no." Percy continued before the counsellor had time to reply. "Why does any of this matter anyway, who I do or don't talk to…"

"Everything you feel is important matters Percy. Why else would you be talking about it?" The demigod thought on that for a moment. "Is it just the boy's that make you uncomfortable?" Percy had to think back, realising he'd specifically mentioned guys making him uncomfortable with their 'talk' but…

"No… but it's not _just_ silly things like what I said before… all they seem to talk about is girls and se-" he stopped himself saying sex. He wasn't sure he wanted to make such an awkward statement, he stared away from the man, cheeks turning red.

"You don't have to feel embarrassed, no subject is taboo or inappropriate. I'm not your teacher, I'm your counsellor." Percy caught his eyes. "Does the subject of sex make you uncomfortable?"

"Well obviously." He said back in an awkward tone. "I'm just sick of hearing about it as if it's something…" he clenched his fists in the fabric of his trousers. "-good." He finished.

"Why would you consider it not to be?"

"I don't like hearing about how many girls they've slept with or what they've done, it's disgusting." He said distastefully.

"They are? or what they do?"

"Both, I guess…"

"Have you had sex Percy?" The demigod's breath shook, he didn't know how to answer, either way felt like a lie.

"I don't know." He cursed himself, what a stupid thing to say. "I mean no." He added quickly. "But I'm not- um" his eyes flicked around, as if looking anywhere for an answer "Nothing." Percy sighed, why not just tell him _exactly_ what to write in that notebook of his. "This is a stupid conversation." He scrubbed his head before rubbing his eyes.

"Are you okay Percy?"

"Headache." The demigod leaned down, sliding his sunglasses from the side of his bag and putting them on, returning to his previous position. "Guys are ignorant and girls are stupid." The counsellor almost looked sad, Percy was locking up again.

Much to Percy's relief the bell went, and the demigod was all too happy to be going.

…

"Mr Jackson I must insist that you remove them." He stared at the teacher defiantly.

"No"

He shouldn't really have been drawing attention to himself, he'd been sprawled across his desk, blowing a pencil along the surface. The noise had irritated his history teacher, a scraggly old woman, the kind you would expect to be a really strict librarian, who would give you detention if you so much as dropped a pin, whose appearance matched their horrid nature. Yes, that kind. She had told him off for disrupting the class then started to demand that he take off his sunglasses. Percy didn't want to, he was agitated as he was, with his stupid behaviour earlier and his blaring headache, now he was ready to rise up to any sort of argumental challenge that passed his way. And one had, ergo, here he was.

"You do not say 'no' to a teacher Mr Jackson." She almost turned purple as Percy mimed every word of that sentence while she said it, much to the rest of the class's amusement. "Go to the principal's office NOW!" Percy scoffed, showing no fear of the teacher-turned-dragon that the rest of the class turned deadly silent because of. He slung his bag onto his shoulder and scooped up his book, casually strolling out of the classroom at a leisurely pace.

…

He slumped in the chair, receiving several dirty looks from the receptionist that he blatantly ignored. He read through his history notes, he had promised Nico, Paul and his mom a while back that he'd try harder on his work, he was glaring at the page, burning out his anger. The words were going bye-bye, but he didn't care, he just wanted something to concentrate on.

Fifteen minutes later saw him on his way back to the counsellor's office. The principal instructed him to report to Mr Richards to work on any schoolwork he had, since apparently his last session of the day ends in five minutes or so. But Percy got the impression that the principal had been more than eager to send him away, probably under some presumption that Mr Richards would be able to control him better, especially if he were to have one of his 'episodes'.

As he passed the toilets he couldn't help himself, he ran in, thankful for them being empty and locked himself in a stall. He hastily yanked his sleeve up, taking a second to admire the red skin before rummaging in his bag for his blade. He brought it out, pushing the neckerchief aside before bringing to down onto his skin, crying out in pain, not so much physical pain, but emotional pain, he was so angry, yet here he was, saviour of Olympus, cutting his arm open in the school toilets.

He felt the ache through his arm, the sort of ache that said 'stop it, you're doing damage, stop it while you can' he ignored it, cutting again until he was satisfied. He put his tool away and re-wrapped the red fabric around the cuts tightly. He couldn't risk washing them in the sink in case someone walked in on him.

He calmly pulled his sleeve down, taking several deep breaths before walking out as if nothing had happened.

…

He sat on the chair outside _his_ office, annoyed by the amount of sitting around and waiting that he'd had to do that day. He felt rebellious, sitting sideways and swinging his legs over the arm of the chair. He couldn't have been there 2 minutes before the door opened and out came a student, he recognised her, Bridget, she was in his year. Apparently she went to counselling to help her with her 'agonising heartbreak' -with whoever was her boyfriend of the week, and her depression caused by her rich parents not buying her everything she wanted fast enough. He didn't envy her, he pitied her shallowness. Though the rumour was that she just fancied Mr Richards. The reasons were both likely to be true, the first one for attention and the second one for more attention.

Said counsellor spotted Percy through the briefly open door. He sighed as the man walked up to it, surprise clear on his face.

"Percy, is something wrong?" The demigod stood up, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket and handing it to him. As the counsellor read it Percy saw something almost akin to disappointment on his face. "I see. Come in." He said, letting the boy follow him. He pulled a spare chair up to his desk, gesturing for Percy to sit in it, opposite to his own seat.

Percy did so silently, putting down his notebook, he found he had no desire to speak back to this man or disrupt him anymore than he already had.

He worked on some reports that he kept out of Percy's line of sight, not that the demigod could read them even if he had the desire to try. Percy wasn't sure what the score was, this wasn't one of their sessions, he couldn't just speak, could he? The guy didn't _seem_ angry, like Percy was there to be punished, but the air was tense and thick, he didn't like it, he felt panicked and claustrophobic. He was almost dizzy with the pressure, repeatedly running his fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself. What he wouldn't give for a drink… He knew his agitated behaviour was obvious but he couldn't help it.

"Are you feeling okay Percy?" The demigod couldn't look up, he just nodded.

"Y-yeah, fine."

"Are you sure, I can get you some water, or if you want to lie down…"

"No, I'm okay." He said shortly, glancing to the clock, _only 20 minutes to go…_

"Would you like to talk?" Percy hesitated, what would it mean if he entered into talking willingly, he'd be a coward, it would just be a mandatory thing anymore. He instantly felt bad, did he not want help? "Come on Percy, let's have a chat." The man got up and waited for Percy to respond before sitting down in their usual places.

The demigod looked even more withdrawn now than when in their session that morning.

"What's wrong Percy?" The counsellor asked. Percy looked him over.

"Nothing. Where's your notebook this time?" The man reached beside himself, pulling out said book. "Oh." Percy managed in response, he barely noticed that he was fidgeting a lot, tapping his feet, picking at his nails, rubbing his wrist.

"Why did you argue with a teacher?"

"Because I was annoyed. And she's always picking at me." He answered. Mr Richards sighed, he'd read several reports in his file from the particular teacher in question, mainly about Percy's sunglasses, disruptive behaviour and one or two for falling asleep in class.

"You were annoyed from our session this morning." He guessed. Percy furrowed his brow, he supposed so.

"Because it was all just ridiculous chatter that danced around the point."

"And what is the point Percy?" The demigod held his tongue, what _was_ the point?

"Why am I here?"

"To get help." He answered simply.

"Help with what?" Percy replied, fast off the bat.

"Whatever you feel is troubling you."

"And what is that?"

"Only you can say Percy." He said honestly, Percy didn't know how to respond, he felt desperate to cut, or drink, or get high, anything. "You're a proud man Percy, sometimes, out of pride, people try to bury their problems, issues, emotions… this is okay sometimes, with small things, we figure them out and move on. But sometimes we can't, and it's not anything to be ashamed of, it happens to us all, but if we keep holding these things in they can cause damage, bad feelings fester and evolve." Percy listened intently to his words. "And this makes us lash out, in ways we, or others around us wouldn't expect or understand." A sad expression crossed the demigods face, the itch faded a little, for once he was starting to feel a little bit of hope.

"Like how?" The counsellor seemed happy that Percy was responding positively.

"They can make us very upset, or angry, make us become destructive and harmful to people around us, who we care about, and even to ourselves." Percy twitched, _ourselves… harmful… _he immediately tried to hide the understanding that was creeping onto his face, he fought to keep his expression stoic and unwavering. "Is there anything like that on your mind Percy?" The demigod swallowed thickly.

"Maybe." He forced out.

"Do you want to talk about it?" The counsellor asked, Percy stared at him nervously, the current state of his arm running through his mind again and again, he felt a little sick, _he couldn't do this_. He shook his head. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"No." he said, almost a little disappointed in himself. "maybe tomorrow"

"I'll see you tomorrow then Percy." the counsellor replied, he tried to remain indifferent but it was obvious to anyone who looked that he was pleased with Percy's progress that afternoon.

...

He met with Nico after, they both smiled at each other awkwardly, both nervous about being too friendly with one another in public. They walked to Nico's place, calmly going to his bedroom before the younger demigod quickly pulled Percy into a kiss.

The son of Poseidon held him close, pressing hard kisses back against Nico's lips. They stumbled across to the futon, dropping their bags as they went, Percy laid him down, kneeling between his legs and occasionally grazing their bodies together. It was just right, just their kissing. Percy told himself that if this was all it was then it would all be okay, it was just kissing, nothing more.

It was over an hour later when they separated, they moved and shifted but had still continued their kissing. They were dizzy and their lips were a little dry now, but it had been good. They smiled at each other shyly, uttering croaked words of agreement about Percy having to go home. Nico would have gladly like to keep him there, kissing Percy was amazing, but he did have to go at some point…

…

After Percy left Nico felt alone, the younger boy flopped down on his bed, he'd hesitate to say he felt dreamy, but that's how he felt. He chewed his lip as he stared at the silver framed photo graph on his bedside table. It had been his best birthday ever.

He drifted into his own world, he wondered how Percy was doing in his therapy sessions, he was always anxious about them, always keeping close attention in case Percy gave out some insight into how he was progressing. He hadn't been drinking as much, Percy would normally drink when he was stressed, sometimes that even meant a swig of vodka before school, but so far he'd done quite well. And he hadn't been to any of those disgusting parties lately, gotten molested by stupid girls or perverted guys on occasion, who Percy actually near beat the crap out of in response, Nico had had to drag his drunken ass away every time.

Though he was somewhat concerned with Percy's cutting, when he'd done it the other night… Percy had no idea how much it hurt him to see him do it to himself. Nico had been through all of that, after Bianca… he'd been alone and so hopeless, just a child… Percy was scared, distressed, traumatised, he needed help that Nico couldn't give him, professional help, Percy was depressed, that was something Nico was sure this psychiatrist _couldn't_ miss. Nico was there for love and support, that was his role and he'd do it happily. Percy needed him.

…**End of Chapter 16…**

Please review! I have to know what you guys think or I'll go crazy, and not in the storytelling way!

…

**Read my Percy Jackson stories :D *offers cookies***

Series:

**I Give It All - ApolloxPercy**** (UPDATED)**

**Crazy - PercyxNico**** (UPDATED)**

Love starts with Sex - ApolloxHermes

**My Run Away - HermesxPercy**** (UPDATED)**

Overcast - PercyLuke (rape-fic)

Brotherly - PercyxTriton

Guilt - PercyxPoseidon

**In The Line of Duty - NicoxPercy (NEW previously called wounded - request from Lollogout)**

Oneshots:

Skirmish - PercyxAres

You - PercyxDionysus

…

Until next time,

-Pp


	17. Session Six

Hi, sorry that I haven't update in such a long time, my full list of excuses are on I Give It All's A/N, that story is my main sort of thing for these.

Enjoy!

…**Chapter 17 - Session Six…**

Student: Perseus (Percy) Jackson

Age: 17

Notes: ADHD, Dyslexic, on academic report.

Session Six:

Percy seems highly distracted

Percy has asked if I consider him normal, reluctant to explain his reasoning.

Upon questioning if others have influenced him to ask this, he implied a lack of social interaction.

He mentions feeling uncomfortable around others, I suspect a certain amount of social isolation because of, or causing, social anxiety disorder.

Uncomfortable during our sessions -talking and thinking about his issues.

-goes to 'wild' parties -definite cause for concern.

Nico Di'Angelo attends these parties to look after him but does not approve of them.

Has mentioned that other boy's talking about 'girls and sex' makes him particularly uncomfortable. At this admission he seems understandably embarrassed, though I believe he also feels shame. -must look into.

-does not consider sexual relations 'good'. States clearly that he considers hearing of the act and the act itself 'disgusting'. I have several theories regarding this negative attitude toward sexual or interpersonal relationships.

-when asked if Percy has had intercourse the answer was 'I don't know' -may point to some degree of sexual confusion among other theories. He corrected himself to say no, but I remained somewhat unconvinced of his sincerity.

He has withdrawn again. -panics and withdraws when put in a confrontational situation about himself or any situation that causes him stress. Becomes defensive and prone to outbursts.

Before end of session Percy complained of a headache, further trying to throw off any progress made.

…**End of Chapter 17…**


	18. Session Seven

…**Chapter 18 - Session Seven…**

Student: Perseus (Percy) Jackson

Age: 17

Notes: ADHD, Dyslexic, on academic report.

Percy has been sent to my office after being sent out of class for being rude to a teacher.

This session is in the afternoon of our previous one.

Session Seven:

Percy is highly agitated, body language suggests aggression and nervousness.

His issue in class stemmed from his upset from our morning session, he expressed irritation with its subjects and started to re-question the purpose of him being here.

I explained to him the benefit of talking in such sessions and my words seemed to reach him, I have good reason to suspect Percy has a trauma that is causing his outbursts and aggression, I also suspect that Percy may be self-harming, though I have no proof of this, his behaviour would support it.

I cannot yet ask Percy directly about my suspicions, this may make the problem worse and I have yet to determine how intensely he may be practising the act.

However, Percy does seem more enthusiastic about attending our sessions, this is a positive improvement. I believe Percy is starting to trust me despite his early apprehensiveness.

…**End of Chapter 18…**


	19. We Kissed

…**Chapter 20 - We Kissed…**

"Hey." Percy said happily, greeting Mr Richards.

"Hello Percy, take a seat." The demigod dropped down on the sofa. "How are you today?"

"Okay, I suppose. I mean Paul wasn't too happy about me getting in trouble yesterday, I got like, another lecture about it this morning." He said, a little forlornly. "And he and my mom keep wanting to know what we talk about."

"And how do you feel about that?" Percy raised an eyebrow, shooting the man a droll stare, _seriously? What a cliche question…_

"I don't like keeping things from them…" he said quietly, looking down at the floor.

"You keep a lot of things from them?"

Percy nodded. "I have to. My mom worries a lot, so does Paul, and Nico." He blushed a little as he mentioned Nico's name. "I kissed him." He said out of nowhere, looking back up at the psychiatrist. "Nico, I mean. I kissed him, a lot. _We, _kissed a lot… and I liked it…" if the man was surprised he didn't let it show.

"There's nothing wrong with that Percy." The demigod suddenly seemed alarmed.

"Yes there is!" Percy seemed agitated again, but he just couldn't begin to explain how much relief he felt to be telling someone. He sat slouched against the back of the sofa, glaring down at the floor thoughtfully. "We're both guys, and we both have…" he averted his eyes, desperate to look anywhere but in the psychiatrist's direction.

"Are you worried about what your family will think about this?"

"I guess…" he dared to glance up, feeling a little better when he realised that the man didn't have the look on his face that he was expecting.

"Is there anyone in particular you feel may object?"

"I don't know… my mom's never said anything bad about people like that, and Paul's pretty cool…"

"What about your father?" Percy looked at him, narrowing his eyes, Poseidon, he couldn't imagine him having a problem with him getting with guys… he didn't know about if he'd object to Nico, but he'd surely object to the other stuff… a pathetic weak little child…

"He'd be okay with it I think…"

"Do you think that perhaps you could talk about it with him?"

"No." Percy snapped. "I don't want him to know. Any of it… Anyway, he's away somewhere right now"

"Are you angry at him for that?"

"He wasn't around a lot. I didn't meet him until 6 years ago, and I've only seen him a few times since then… he does really important work, I get that…" he tried not to be overly aggressive.

"But you still wish he would see you more?" Percy narrowed his eyes defensively at the man.

"It's not a matter of 'would', he can't." He psychiatrist seemed intimidated when Percy's anger was directed right at him. The demigod calmed himself, casting his eyes down. "It doesn't matter anyway, I wouldn't tell him anything. I mean… he's my dad, but I don't tell him anything, nothing personal…"

"You don't tell anyone anything personal-"

"I tell _you…_" Percy offered hopefully.

"And that's good, but it would be good for you to have an open relationship with a friend… Nico perhaps?" The demigod looked at him with uncertain eyes. "I know you're not totally comfortable or sure of your feelings toward him, but-"

"I don't have feelings toward him, he's just my friend. I mean… " Nico wasn't his friend, that was a lie. Nico was his boyfriend and he knew it.

"Percy, I want you to remember my rule when you answer this, but also remember that if you're not comfortable, you don't have to answer at all" the demigod nodded. "Why do you feel that homosexuality upsets you?" He stared into the man's eyes, desperate to try to answer but desperate to not to as well. Whatever he was going to do was cut off by the bell, he couldn't believe how fast that had gone.

"Can I think about that?" He asked, he didn't want the question to die.

"Of course Percy. I want you to think about something else too, whether or not you feel you would benefit from having longer sessions with me, 45 minutes, or an hour maybe. Now you're feeling more comfortable talking." Percy nodded, trying to hide most of his enthusiasm for the idea, but he did offer the man a smile for his efforts before leaving, having agreed on another session tomorrow morning.

…

"Hey." Nico said chirpily, practically jumping into the space beside his friend.

"Hey." Percy replied, at least trying to imitate Nico's cheerful mood.

"What's up?" He asked, Percy smiled, he was blatantly avoiding asking how his counselling session went.

"It was fine. We talked again, as usual." The son of hades scanned his features.

"Are they helping?" He asked.

Percy gave it some thought. "Yeah, I think so." Percy wondered, it _really _was okay to feel this way about him? He wrapped his good arm around the younger boy's shoulders, pulling him into a half-hug as they walked.

He thought about how he was going to answer the question, the important question.

"Are you okay?" Nico stared at him.

"What? Yeah. I'm fine."

They made their way to biology, eagerly sitting next to each other at the back of the class. "I think he's in a bad mood today." Nico commented as he swung his bag beneath his desk.

"He's in a bad mood everyday." Percy retorted. They were talking about their teacher, Mr Davies or Dracula as he was known to the younger students.

"So anyway, what's this Mr Richards like?"

"He's okay… he's almost too calm sometimes though, too happy. Like he believes in me or some such crap."

"I believe in you too…"

Percy scoffed. "Yeah. And you know what I get up to."

"He doesn't?" Percy stayed silent for a moment.

"No, I haven't told him yet." Nico offered him a soft smile. 'Yet' as in he was going to, that was good, it was progress. Percy caught the smile, returning it. They both stared at each other a while, and for the first time in a while Percy felt okay. "I'm sick of having to tell him some story about my dad though, he keeps asking about him, he wants me to talk to him."

"That'd be an interesting conversation."

Percy looked at him frankly. "_Never _going to happen."

"Why not?" Nico stared at him innocently with big brown eyes.

"You of all people should know why not." Percy looked back to the front of the class.

"I thought you and he were really close."

"I'd hardly call it close" he replied, scribbling down what was meant to be a note but just ended up as a doodle.

"But you talk"

"Please, we've had the odd conversation, that's it." He didn't mean to act ratty to Nico, but he couldn't help it, thankfully the younger demigod was doing well to just ignore it.

"Even if only that was true, if you needed him to, he'd listen, no matter what, and you know he would." Nico pulled something from his pocket and slid it under his finger across the top of the table. Percy looked at it, it was a gold drachma.

"Nico, I don't need-"

"Take it, think of it as another birthday present, so _don't_ get giving it back, and when you're ready, call your dad." The son of Hades stared at him stubbornly until Percy took the coin, at which point he smirked triumphantly. "Good. Besides, he'll be happy to hear from you. My dad was moaning about him talking about you." Percy paused a moment.

"Hey Nico, doesn't it like, bother you that we're sort of _cousins?" _He made sure to say the last word extra quiet.

"Demigods have dated demigods loads of times, even you did with-"

"Please, don't." He sighed, looking away somewhat sadly.

"Do you still like her?"

"Of course not."

"Then why are you still so sore about her?" Percy could tell Nico was upset about his reaction to a mention of Annabeth.

"Because it ended badly." He couldn't meet Nico's eyes.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want to tell her anything and you know what she's like, she kept poking at me and I didn't like it, so I ended it, that's it." The sharply spoken sentence ended their conversation. Percy looked to the front of class with an annoyed expression on his face. Nico glanced between his book and Percy, he didn't know what to say, he was pretty sure there was a warning in what he said, about asking too many questions. He tried to engross himself in his notes, but after a few minutes of silence between them Percy took his hand, holding it beneath the table. He hadn't diverted his attention from the front but his face had softened, Nico smiled, especially as he felt Percy's thumb gently stroke the top of his hand. He knew it was Percy's way of apologising, the older demigod wasn't always great with the whole verbal communication thing.

…

Percy was relieved when he got home, as he always was, as sons as he got into his room he could stop pretending, drop the facade.

He skipped dinner that evening, opting instead to have a shower, he scrubbed at his arm, drawing a few new drops of blood from the re-opened scabs. He liked feeling clean when he hurt himself, cutting into fresh, clean skin… he was doing it on automatic now, he was scared about answering Mr Richards question, but somewhere deep down he knew he had to. He went to his room, putting new lines in himself, bleeding his arms, marring his stomach… he wrapped the ragged skin of his arms tightly before rummaging in his cupboard, pulling out a clear bottle. He kissed the vodka label before necking it, gulping the burning liquid as easily as if it were water, later he would realise how ridiculous he was being, but for now, this was all he wanted, to hurt, and to forget.

…**End of chapter 19…**

Please review, as always I love to know what you think!

…

Shameless advertising time :D

**Read my Percy Jackson stories :D *offers cookies***

Series:

**I Give It All - ApolloxPercy (updated)**

**Crazy - PercyxNico (updated)**

Love starts with Sex - ApolloxHermes

My Run Away – HermesxPercy (will be updated tomorrow)

Overcast - PercyLuke (rape-fic) (will be updated tomorrow)

Brotherly - PercyxTriton

**Guilt - PercyxPoseidon (updated)**

In The Line of Duty – PercyxNico (will be updated tomorrow)

**Hell - Percy (NEW, uploaded)**

**Poker Face - Percyxsurprise! (NEW, uploaded)**

Oneshots:

Skirmish - PercyxAres

You - PercyxDionysus

…

Until next time,

-Pp


	20. Session Eight

**A/N on next chapter :)**

…**Chapter 20 - Session Eight…**

Student: Perseus (Percy) Jackson

Age: 17

Notes: ADHD, Dyslexic, on academic report.

Session Eight:

Percy seems a lot more positive today, talking more freely and becoming accustomed to our sessions.

Freely admits to kissing Nico Di'angelo.

I suspect some of his anxiety may stem from outside opinion, though I'm still convinced of some personal sexual issues.

Seems comforted with the flow of conversation.

States that he doesn't believe his family will object. Even his father, though he did hesitate.

I must be cautious, and look into his family more, these matters can be delicate, especially when abuse may be involved.

Further defensive over his father.

Note: look into any information on his father.

Defensive but attached, I feel that they may have a genuine relationship and Percy may benefit from more contact, but my influence is limited. I do however get the impression that Percy would be able to get more contact than he is saying he can.

Confused of feelings towards Nico.

Before the end of our session I asked him why homosexuality upsets him, I feel that he may be ready for a bigger step. However the timing was unfortunate and the bell discouraged Percy from speaking. He has asked to 'think about' it.

I also suggested extending our sessions which Percy seems positive about.

…**End of Chapter 20…**


	21. After Push

**Hey guys, I'm sorry this chapter has taken **_**so **_**long, I actually wrote it out, hated it, and rewrote it… I like this one better.**

**So yeah, I've been in an artwork related coma. But I've been putting a few pieces up on DA so you guys can check them out if you wish, see what has been stopping my updating.**

**Enjoy!**

…**Chapter 21 - After push…**

He didn't go.

He didn't want to go.

He sat in History tapping his foot, he was anxiously anticipating to be called to Mr Richards office, he should have been there 3 hours ago. It was hard to believe that this was the most nerve wracking day of school he'd ever had.

Nico was next to him, on the next table along. He was supposed to be taking notes from his textbook, but a scribble of a sentence didn't really count. The quiet was deafening, with the occasional sound of page turning and the noise of pen on paper. He sighed as he looked over at Nico, he'd already finished several pages of script like notes. Percy envied his ability to focus like that, he was incredible, smart, but not obnoxious, and not smart in the conventional way, he was savvy and thoughtful too.

He swiftly closed his book when the lesson was over, covering his work out of embarrassment. He didn't want anyone to see how much of a dumbass he was, and he barely even waited for Nico on his way out, he went down the corridor and threw his books in his locker, sighing and reigning in his temper when his slam of the locker door didn't really work.

He looked sideways to see Nico's big brown eyes watching him with curious concern. "Sorry…" he said quietly, eyes searching for anyone who had taken notice of his outburst.

Without any change in expression Nico held up a few pieces of paper, notes from class, obviously wanting Percy to take them, but before the other demigod could say no he interrupted. "I made copies. Take them."

Percy smiled gratefully and took them before pulling Nico into a tight hug. He needed it, the hug… and the notes. "Thanks" they pulled apart, pausing as their faces were close, just a breath away… but Percy snapped back to reality, letting go of his friend and stepping back, he made busy with shutting his locker correctly this time.

"What have you got next?"

"Math."

"That sucks, I- wait, don't you have an appointment with Mr Richards today?" Nico asked innocently, causing a look of alarm to appear on Percy's face.

"Shhh, don't be so loud!" He whispered urgently.

"Plenty of people go to him, Perce."

"I don't care." They both gave each other a stubborn stare, but Percy won out.

"Okay, but, answer my question, did you have one?" Nico insisted.

The sea prince pursed his lips, how could he deny anything to those beautiful eyes… "yeah, I did."

"Then go." Nico said, trying to sound encouraging, but Percy just got more agitated.

"No, I don't want to, and anyway, it was this morning, and he'll be busy, and I don't want to go!" The older boy started stepping back, hugging himself in a panic.

"Okay, okay, calm down-"

"I'm going." Percy looked down the corridor, and Nico knew he was going to run for it again.

"No. You can't keep running off Perce." Their eyes met, Percy wasn't sure what to do, he wanted so desperately to run, but safety wasn't a place anymore, safety was a person; Nico, and Nico was right there with him. The child of Hade's softened his stern expression. "Look, we're done in an hour or so, I'll meet you here, then we'll go to my place, okay?" Percy tightened his grip on the strap of his bag anxiously, nodding. "Good, I'll see you soon." He smiled in assurance before reluctantly walking away.

…

"He hasn't said anything wrong, I swear, I just don't want to see him. I don't _have _to see him." Percy said, walking along with Nico, _who else?_

"You know they're good for you." Nico replied, meaning the sessions in general, he was sort of grateful that his counsellor hadn't said anything upsetting to him. No one had the right to hurt Percy.

"I suppose…" the sea prince sighed, walking on slowly. "He's a good guy." Nico shot him a subtle glance out of the corner of his eye. _Yes, it may have been the slightest, tiniest bit of jealousy. _"but he always wants to '_make_ _progress'_, and I don't feel like it today." Percy seemed so cut off, an angry, despondent expression on his face.

They walked on in silence, the younger boy stealing glances as they went, figuring out what to say and how to say it. He remained close to his side, their hands, to Nico's delight, occasionally brushing against one another.

"Oi, lover boys." They heard as they walked into the house.

The demigods looked over at the other two boys in the front room with red starting to colour their cheeks. The older boys were pretending to kiss while practically wetting themselves laughing. Nico shot them a disgruntled look before swiftly showing them his middle finger and walking upstairs.

Percy smiled slightly and followed, locking the door after entering Nico's room. He didn't miss the glare he received from Nico's female cohabitant at the top of the stairs, but chose to ignore it instead.

He knew his friend- boyfriend, wanted something, a hug or a kiss, just some affection. He didn't say it, he just sat quietly, trying hard to act like he always did, but Percy could tell he was hoping. And why shouldn't he want some attention from the person he was in a relationship with?

He stepped over, leaning down and pressing a kiss against his head. It all seemed so nice, so normal… and he felt in control, not in control of Nico, but in control of the situation and himself. He didn't feel in danger…

…

Nico smiled softly, Percy was nuzzling his head while stroking his opposite cheek. He turned, his soft brown eyes gazing up into Percy's, the sea child indulged him in a kiss, their lips pressing together gently, hesitating only a moment before deepening their engagement.

He didn't think it at all weird that he was there, kissing a boy, kissing his cousin, kissing Percy… he had no problem with himself, he was comfortable with what he wanted to try and do, but Percy, there was something very wrong for him, he'd been hurt? Abused? How? He wished he knew, he wished he could help.

…

The boys burst out laughing, enjoying the rarity of watching a comedy as opposed to a horror. Nico loved how close they were… but he hated that Percy was drinking, that he felt the need to be drinking, even with him there, he wished he was enough to make him feel better…

At the end of the film Percy rolled on onto his back and looked at Nico, his green eyes roaming down his body in a daze. But the son of Hades frowned, he didn't want Percy to just want him when they had been drinking, didn't he know how that made him feel?

"You know, you shouldn't be drinking so much, your mom and Paul are going to be pissed at you." He said innocently. The older boy merely laughed it off.

"They won't care. They don't care what I do."

"Percy, that's not true."

"You are the only really great thing in my life, and you don't even know me." Percy sat up, hiding his teary eyes

"I know you, Percy" Nico replied, turning off the film credits.

"No you don't!" The older boy stood up, he seemed suddenly distressed, offended by Nico's words. "You don't know me at all? I _hate_ who you all think I am!"

"You're Percy, you're my friend, my…" he held his tongue.

"You all see me as this big hero, brave and strong and- and- _so_ not fucked up by anything! But I am! Do you have _any _idea how much of a fucking freak I am?!" Nico wanted to comfort him, to tell him otherwise, but he couldn't, he could only sit there, he had to listen, and he had to hear. He watched Percy's tear streaked face as he paced, struggling with the enthusiasm to even exist. "I hate that I can't tell you, and that I can't be with you. I hate that I'm so ashamed, and that for the past six years I've been living a total fucking lie and pretending that it all never happened!"

Percy scrubbed his face before making a decision, striding over to the bedside table and snatching up his vodka bottle. He managed to take a large swig before Nico could react, bolting up and pulling the liquid down from his lips.

"Percy, no matter what, _this _is not the answer." He held the bottle firmly down, refusing to let his love have another drop.

"No. But it makes me forget the question." Nico saw such hurt in his eyes, he could almost see right into the heart of his turmoil.

"I'm here with you, like always, that's not about to change." He tried to pry the bottle further away but Percy was having none of it. He stepped back, twisting the vodka from Nico's hands.

"I wish you knew, it would be so much easier if you knew."

"Then tell me."

"I can't!" Percy cried. "I don't want to ruin us!" His raised tone caught Nico by surprise. "You are _so _important to me… I don't have much to live for, but you're definitely at the top of my list…" he seemed calm for a moment, the silence was deafening, but it didn't last. Percy turned and quickly guzzled more of the alcohol, swaying only slightly as he strolled to his futon, dropping down and polishing it off.

The younger boy followed him and knelt on the floor between his feet. He took the empty bottle and stood it aside, taking Percy's hands into his own as he tried to look through the dark strands of ebony hair. "Perce…"

"How can I have someone like you? You are so beautiful, so amazing…" Percy said, not even caring about the tears down his face anymore. "You're so nice to me and I don't deserve it… I'm not_,_ _right…_" he held onto Nico's hands tightly. "I'm not okay, and I can't, I can't take you down with me…"

"Percy, no-"

"You're so innocent… I'm not, I'm bad." Before Nico had a chance to respond Percy cut him off. "He touched me, Nico. Gabe, he- he touched me and he hurt me, and he raped me." The younger boy was speechless, he knew he should say something, but what _could _he say? His brain short circuit was interrupted by an uncontrollable sob from Percy, letting him know exactly what he needed. He got up and sat on the futon next to him, pulling Percy into his arms and letting him cry against his shoulder. "I can't keep going, I can't…" Percy pulled back, his entire body was shaking and he held onto the other boy's hands with a vice like grip. "I can't do it anymore! I don't want to live with it anymore."

Nico placed his hands either side of Percy's face, moving his hair aside and wiping away some of the torrent of tears with the other boy's hands still gripped onto his wrists. "I'm with you, I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you again. Never. Understand?" Percy nodded tearfully, letting the other demigod hold his face and have his full attention.

After a while the older boy chuckled sadly. "Shouldn't it be _me_ looking after you?" Nico smiled softly.

"We'll look after each other, deal?" He asked, starting to gently run his fingers through Percy's hair. He didn't want to see such sadness in Percy's eyes ever again, and if he was being honest, he was pretty shook up himself, he almost felt like crying too, out of empathy for Percy or that Percy had been going through so much and he'd just been ignorant of it all.

He wisely kept his anger in check, he didn't want to start shouting and upset him even more, even if he was furious about it. It was a disgrace, how could someone hurt Percy? Hurt him as a defenceless little child no less? For a moment he was frustrated that the guy was dead, he wanted to strangle him with his own hands. But then he remembered just who he was. It wasn't wise for a dead guy to piss off the ghost king.

"Nico, I'm sorry, I've been such a dick…" Percy said, sniffling. He seemed much calmer, more collected, but Nico knew better, he was merely just mentally beating it down, hiding it behind his strength and character.

"Not to me-"

"-Especially to you." Nico gave him a dubious look.

"Percy, you've done nothing wrong, not to me, not to anyone…" he wished he could make him feel okay, the last thing he needed to be doing was apologising, he had nothing to apologise for.

"I wouldn't say I've done nothing wrong…" Percy eyes looked sadly down, subconsciously glancing at his empty bottle and wrists.

"Hey, look at me." Nico said softly. "Look at me." He did, and for a moment Nico was completely taken in by the bright green eyes. "You- you have nothing to feel bad about." He held Percy's hands and turned them wrists up between them, stroking his thumbs down the cross crosses of white lines. "And you have done nothing to be ashamed of." Percy didn't look convinced. "You _never _will, not in my eyes." He almost felt bad when Percy pulled his hands free, seeing fresh tears pooling at his eyes.

"Can I sleep by you tonight?"

"Of course, I'd love you to…" a faint smile grew on both their faces despite Percy's tears. Nico couldn't help it anymore, he swiftly moved forward, wrapping his arms around Percy's body and catching him in a hug.

The sea child was surprised at first but soon held around his friend's shoulders, holding him tight and taking in the comforting familiarity of his scent.

…

He cried silent tears against Nico's shoulder that night, it was like a heavy weight had been lifted, he'd told someone, Nico, and he was still there for him, holding him… but it came with consequences, he couldn't deny the overwhelming urge to cut, he was scared, Nico could change his mind now, decide differently about him, he couldn't lose Nico, life would be over… it may sound silly, to want to die over a broken heart, but when a fragile, barely functioning heart is all you have left… it was all Percy saw, though even with Nico, life wasn't too promising.

He was so tired, those few words had exhausted him. He wanted to hide away, drink himself stupid again and escape… but, Neeks, he was warm, and comfortable, and safe, and loving… the other demigod was holding him close, letting the bare skin of their chests touch tenderly, he felt so blissfully content…

Nico was keeping him afloat when all he wanted to do was sink.

…**End of Chapter 21…**

**Please review! You know how I love hearing what you think! Reviews keep me going, I may go slowly sometimes, but I'm always going!**

**Until next time,**

**-Pp**


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